Sweet Autumn Kisses
by zipped
Summary: The death of two family members affected Draco in more ways than he ever thought was possible, and Hermione was going to break all the rules in the game of love by taking advantage of that... Pairing:[DrHr]
1. Prologue: Hidden Secrets

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or any of the following characters, although I wish I owned Draco----- 3 *drool* they all belong to the wonderful JK Rowling~! Oh and a note before I actually start writing: thank you Dana for helping me with the storyline and yeah… writing it out wit me during history and also being my official editor… 

One more thing…you see the little button at the bottom left where is says submit review? Please click on it~!!! Good reviews will be greeted with open arms and bad ones will be… sobbed over then taken into account…

This story might seem like some other stories you've read but I'd like to know it was mi original storyline which took me a few weeks to work out =P 

**"Sweet Autumn Kisses"**

**A Fanfiction by Sophia Cai**

**Pen name: KandiiKane**

Based on ©HARRY POTTER 

**++Prologue: Hidden Secrets++**

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  The house stood on hill overlooking the mass of green, where it had stood for more than 500 years.  You could call it ancient but most people prefer to know it as where you end up when you have a well-respected family plus riches. It looked like someone carved the entire house out of stone, the surface of the walls were smooth, with tall daunting black, iron windows. Those houses you see in those 1800's movies. It would look almost inviting if it weren't for the fence running along the sides, banning the outside world from it. Saying anyone who dared to come near it, "Go Away". Not that anyone would dare come near it, or wanted to for that fact.

  The Malfoy mansion lay on the edge of a forest, surrounded by trees and ferns. By-passers would hardly know what really happened in there. All the secrets beneath its stony surface… all the torment and lies. 

  But then again, no one really did.

  Lucius muttered under his breath as he prepared to leave. It was early on Sunday morning, a day when he really didn't want to work, but life wasn't about what you want anymore, it was about doing deeds for others than yourself. The sun was barely up, but what was there shone brightly, casting shadows all along the front of the house. He picked up his bag and his cloak from the shelf, before turning to the mirror outside the hallway, he straightened his cloak and smoothed back his hair, always good to make a good impression.

  The whole house was silent, except for the sound of the fire-place fire slowly burning away at the logs. Draco was out of the house, not home but somewhere in the southern part of Ireland with his second cousins. Leaving only Narcissa and Lucius. Not that he cared.

  Lucius picked up his wand, and stuffed it into his pocket, without turning once more he left the house, closing the heavy wooden door behind him. The cold, autumn chill took him by surprise a bit at first, but he soon got used to it. Autumn leaves were all over the floor. It was starting to approach the cold as he could feel it in the air. A bit early though, he thought to himself, it's mid-September.

  As he quietly slipped past the front gate he heard footsteps behind him, he stopped in his tracks and turned back his head slowly. There was no one.

  "Who's there?" he called out.

  "Oh it's only me Lucius," he recognized a familiar voice behind him.

  "What are you doing here Magrese?" Lucius asked turning around impatiently.  He had no time to stay and chat.

  "This house is still half mine you realize," said the tall man, who looked extraordinarily like Lucius, as he walked closer to him.

  "I thought we came to a conclusion before," Lucius said.

  "Yes it's nice to see you too brother," Magrese teasingly smiled.

  "Don't use that word in front of me," Lucius said as he threatened Magrese with his wand.

  "Whoa, calm down," Magrese chuckled, "I didn't come by to see you anyway."

  Lucius looked surprisingly at him, slowly lowering his wand, "Then who?"

  "Narcissa of course," Magrese said, "my wonderful sister-in-law, the one you don't deserve, you know you don't, and don't play dumb with me, I've seen those times you abused her, and those times you've slept with other women."

  Lucius looked at Magrese, he then dropped his bag and picked up his wand again, "Now you know that isn't true." Lucius grabbed Magrese by the collar

  Magrese looked at Lucius and smiled, "Of course not."

  Lucius dropped Magrese again and ran his hand through his hair, "I have no time to talk nonsense with you." And with that he picked up his bag and left.

  Magrese shrugged and smirked, after seeing Lucius turn the corner he went back to the mansion, as he climbed up the steps to the front door he said to himself, "Welcome home." Magrese was always the complete opposite of him, Lucius was mean, deceited, Magrese, well… you wouldn't call him modest, but no where as deceited as Lucius. Lucius was the one everyone talked about, good or bad. Magrese was… well just there, a mistake made by his parents one day after getting drunk if you know what I mean. Magrese coped with it. He didn't give a rat's arse, who was he to complain?

  He pulled back his silver hair (the only thing to show he was a Malfoy) which was trimmed short, and straightened himself out before knocking the fake snake's head down against the door. The sound echoed the inside of the house, he waited patiently. He heard short, light footsteps approach the house and he breathed heavily, His hands quivering, the door slowly opened and a tall blond woman stood there, she raised her head and her eyes met his. She let out a small gasp before turning around to see whether anyone was around, seeing no one except for him, she quickly pulled him inside.

  She shut the door behind him with a soft click. 

  If only she turned around before she closed the door.

  If only she saw someone creeping back to the house.

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  Narcissa was what you would call pretty. She was tall, lean, blond and she had beautiful complexions. She had a personality to match her beauty, although most people thought of her as bitter, I mean, married to a Malfoy? But she didn't let her personality get in the way, she was making her father happy after all, marrying a "rich boy" like he wanted. She felt like a Marilyn Monroe, except 4 sizes smaller.

  The study was a high-ceiling room with wooden walls and rich, red, carpet. It was big, far too big for its needs. But all the rooms in the Malfoy mansion where big. Filled with antiques of all sorts, dating back to the 1800's. 

  Narcissa rushed into the study and closed the blinds, Magrese followed her in and instead of his usual smile he had a serious, concerned face. As she closed the door to the study she leant against the door and closed her eyes.

  "Okay, you can talk now," she opened her eyes, and took in everything… him.

  Magrese, who was sitting in a deeply cushioned arm chair next to a tall bookshelf looked up at her, "You know why I came don't you?" he asked, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

  Narcissa slowly walked over to him, she bent down over him, her face inches away from his, he could feel her breath upon him, "I think so," she whispered, just seeing him just turned her on, the way he had that "playboy" look without knowing it. She wanted him, and she knew he wanted her. 

  Magrese pushed her away and stood up, "Narcissa, you have to tell Lucius."

  "Why?" she asked. Angry at him for destroying a moment.

  "Because otherwise he's going to find out," he pushed past her and paced the room, "from someone else. And then we can't do anything to stop his actions. He won't listen to us. You know what he's like."

  "Of course I do, I'm fucking married to him! What do you mean 'actions'?" she asked, fully aware of the answer.

  "You know what I mean," he was getting impatient.

  "Well maybe I do maybe I don't but it doesn't matter," she said, "because he is not going to find out… from anyone."

  "Now that's where you're wrong," Magrese said, so softly it was almost a whisper. But she heard him all right. 

  Narcissa stared at him, his deep hazel eyes. The eyes brought back to many memories, so many sad yet happy and pleasant memories. But all of them were in the past, a time long forgotten, a time she still wanted.

  Magrese felt the same way, for a minute the two adults shared a moment of silence before he broke it again.

  "Carmon is dead," he said, slowly, slurring out the words.

  Nothing could have prepared her for what she heard, the three words stabbed through her body. Her throat felt like it was burnt and covered in ice at the same time. Her legs suddenly felt limp underneath her and she fell, her body hitting the carpet.

  Magrese dodged under her just enough to catch her in time.  He then supported and rested her on an armchair.

  "How- why-," she stammered.

  "Shh, it's okay," he cooed, holding her. His strong masculine arms held her tight, his touch made her yearn for her memories, the time before, when it was love. When it was true love.

  "We have to tell him Narcissa," Magrese continued, "otherwise how are we going to survive this? Carmon is already dead, and I don't need to bet who killed him, we have no other choice."

  Narcissa didn't say anything, she moved her head. It was such a tiny movement that it was hard to tell whether it was a nod or a shake.

  Just then the study room door opened and he stepped in.

  Narcissa quickly moved away from Magrese's hold and stepped towards him.

  "Lucius-"she began.

  "Shut up you slut," he glared at her and turned back to Magrese, "What are you doing here?"

  Magrese opened his mouth to speak but Narcissa interrupted him, "Lucius what's wrong? He is your brother after all."

  "I don't think you have the right to speak right now," Lucius menaced, "and don't you two pretend you don't know what's going on."

  Narcissa bit her lip, "Oh come off it darling don't you want some tea?"

  "Yes, why don't you go and get some and take Magrese here with you so you can go off and sleep with him again," Lucius said.

At that the whole room fell silent, the truth was out, but they didn't tell him.  How he found out, they had no idea.

  "Now you know that isn't true," Magrese started even though he knew it was useless to argue with his brother, especially when he had that murderous look in his eyes.

  "Now you know Carmon is quite a faithful servant."

  Getting no response he continued, "Sure he was a bit dumb here and there, especially back in Hogwarts. But he does know all the sources, and he does have a big mouth. Just someone I can really get on well with, wasn't that what you said?" Lucius coldly looked at Magrese.

  "Of course the first time he told me, I didn't believe him, another one of his pranks," Lucius continued, "well I was wrong. I pieced all the missing puzzle pieces together and now I know the truth."

  "You killed Carmon…" Narcissa stammered.

  Lucius growled at her, "At least that isn't as bad as what you did."

  Narcissa said nothing, but her dark eyes flamed with anger, "You had no right to kill him."

  "And you had no right to lie to me," Lucius stood up and walked up to her, his face inches away from hers, "You had no right to lie about him."

  "I didn't," Narcissa said bitterly, "You just presumed that was the truth."

  Lucius half-smiled, "Me? Presumed. Stop your shitting."

  "I'm not," Narcissa was scared of Lucius, who was holding a wand in his hands. When he followed her gaze, he laughed. 

  "Don't worry 'darling'," Lucius said, "I would hardly kill you would I?"

  Narcissa gulped, she didn't trust those shining eyes anymore, she didn't trust anyone.

  "But then again the Malfoys are a well-respected family," Lucius continued, "We could hardly want shame on the family name do we? That was why I killed him, didn't want him to blab anymore."

  He walked over to the window and pulled the blinds open as the warm sunshine filled the room from head to toe. Narcissa looked at Magrese who was staring at Lucius with an expression that was hard to read.

  "Imagine the news," Lucius continued, "poor little bastard Draco comes home, and oh gee everything goes wrong… Poor thing never to know the truth, never knowing what happens, feelings its his fault," Lucius smiled.

  Magrese stepped forward, "Lucius don't-"

  "Don't what?" he teased. He stepped up to Narcissa again, he bent in to kiss her one more time, his rough lips passing hers, she strained but didn't do anything, he pushed himself against her, before turning away to face Magrese, "ouch, does that hurt you?"

  Magrese opened his mouth to speak but Lucius held up his hand.

  "Don't."

  And with that he slapped her, across the face, hard.

  Tears strained in Narcissa's eyes as she grabbed her swollen cheek, where his big hand had left an emblem of red, destroying her perfect complexions. She breathed heavily and cluttered onto him, "Lucius-"

  He shoved her aside, tossing her carelessly to the ground, she fell with a soft thud, he picked up his wand and was about to cast a spell when he felt a hand on his.

  Magrese held onto his hand, hard. 

  "She doesn't deserve this," he said.

  "You didn't deserve her," Lucius said, he grabbed his arm and tossed him to the ground, Magrese stood up, but Lucius pushed him back down again.

  Outside the autumn leaves continued falling, as the birds chirped on the tree a bright, luminous light filled the study for a couple of seconds, the birds shrieked and flew off. One of them turned his head back to the mansion to see a figure creep out once again, a shadow with long silver hair.

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**A/N: **muahahaha yes I am evil =D and dat was onli da prologue… hehe, I started writing out chapter one ages ago then wen I came up to chapter two (now chapter 4) I decided, hang on, I need more info on all this. So I added in the prologue, I was thinking of making this the 1st chapter but then again it has nothing to do the storyline (yet) and there is no song either so I decided: wat about a brand new capturing start?

Hehe yes Lucius sounds like a real bitch/bastard doesn't he??? But then again… he is evil! Like me! Muhahaha! (sowii im hypo)

Btw fanx a bil dana who is now my official editor for editing. Please review. I write **BETTER **if I get more reviews… please people!!! I'll post chapter one after… 5 REVIEWS!!! Lolz ^^ btw I am also ritin a sess/rin ficcy for those inuyasha fans out there… YAY FLUFFY POWERRRR!!!


	2. Chapter One: Crystal and Seethrough

**Disclaimer: **These disclaimers are quite pointless really but here goes: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, if I did what would I be doing writing fanfictions? They are all owned by the wonderful J. K. Rowling =D Also any songs used in this I do not own.  And if you get confused, the italics are the song and the normal is the story. "You don't see me" is owned by Josie and the Pussycats and I mite have changed it a bit to fit into the story more~!! I felt like using a song for this chapter so *set it up*. Lol 

I decided to put in a song to set the *mood*. I think songs will be temporary, coz writing them all the time is a tad annoying:

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**REVIEWS:**

ice-princess42  Thanks for your review! MY FIRST EVER ON THIS FICCY!!! YAY!!! Well I guess I found my competition on being the most humongous Draco fan *glares evilly* lol! J/k j/k I will never do anything mean to my first reviewer!!!

**+++Chapter One: Crystal and See Through+++**

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  This is the place where I sit,   This is the part where I love you too much. 

  She closed her eyes wearily and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She leant her head against the window and opened her eyes. The sun shone in the sky like one thousand stars engulfed together, only partly hidden by the clouds. Scenery flew past her, passing her in a blur. The coarse landscape made her feel lonely. 

  So lonely.

  A vision of him fell into her head, she half smiled, he was everything to her. Everything.

  Just then the compartment door to 12B slid open with a soft whoosh, a tall man in his early 17's stepped in, he smiled at her and sat down opposite her, pulling out a quill and piece of parchment from his bag, before setting the quill on the paper and writing.

_  This is as hard as it gets,_

_  Because I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough._

  She stared faintly at him from the corners of her eyes, his thin, bony fingers holding the quill, scribbling a mess on the parchment. A million memories were inside her head, from the first time she saw him to the first time she loved him.

  She bit her lip and turned away to the window.

  How am I going to do this? She asked herself. How can I get through this?

_  I'm here if you want me,_

_  I'm yours you can hold me._

  He looked up at her, his clear blue eyes shining, he opened his mouth to speak as the door slid open again and a head of black mess wearing round rimmed glasses, stuck in, not finding the ginger-haired girl he was looking for, turned to leave.

  But her mind was already somewhere else. If only he wanted her like she wanted him, if only he cared, if only she didn't have to wait, if only his heart was hers to hold.

_  I'm empty and taken,_

_  And tumbling and breaking._

  But that was all a fantasy.

  His heart was already taken, stolen by someone who did not even return the love, some one who did not deserve him.

  The pain of seeing his face light up whenever he saw her was enough to bring blind tears to her face, but she remained strong, she could not let him see her, ever, like that.

  She looked at him again; he looked back, he didn't see the love in her dark brown eyes.

_  'Cause you don't see me,_

_  And you don't need me,_

_  And you don't love me._

  It was like he was looking through her, like she was transparent. He just never really saw her. Although she knew this, and her heart was in one thousand pieces, she still cared.

  One day, she told herself, One day he will really look at me then he will see me.

  But she herself was not convinced. It was all too complicated.

_  The way I wish you would,_

_  The way I know you could._

  The tall barren trees with no leaves filled the landscape outside the train window, their shadows casting people on the tracks. She looked at her own reflection on the window, reflected by the light. She scuffed back her hair. Over the years her hair had grown more and she was slowly starting to lose the bushiness.

  Her face had grown into a perfect oval and her nose symmetrical in the middle, her brown shining eyes underneath thin, brown eyebrows. People had noticed her change, guys actually started hitting on her.

  But he didn't see this, the way he should. All he saw in her was a friendly familiar face.

_  I dream a world where you understand,_

_  But I dream a million sleepless nights._

  She closed her eyes and tried to focus on a particular memory, a memory of them. A special time-shared. Hundreds of them filled her head, enough to last her three lifetimes.

  I wonder if he ever thinks about us, she thought, I wonder if he ever stays up into the night, lost in deep thoughts, with no way to get out except to scream.

  I wonder if he dreams about me, she thought as she blinked back tears.

_  I dream a fire when you're touching my hand,_

_  But it twists and smoked as I turn on the lights._

  His hand kept on scribbling along the page, hurrying with more every word. He paused for a minute, the quill resting on the paper as he thought.

  She imagined his hand on hers, his warmth on hers and his lips on hers. She imagined this every day. She wanted him so bad.

  But she knew it was all a dream.

_  I'm speechless and faded,_

_  It's too complicated._

  He never noticed the day she realized, the day she stopped talking to him, he never saw the day when she blushed, he never saw any of this.

  She felt like a total stranger around him. She didn't know who she was, she was a stranger, even to herself. With the N.E.W.T.s coming up, she wasn't sure how she was going to get good marks. 

  I just want everything to be black and white, she thought and ran her hand through her hair.

  Is this how the book ends? 

_  Nothing but good friends?_

  What did she really value in the end, friendship or love? The one that was hard to grasp and find, with a lot of pain but all worth it in the   end or Merlin's everlasting magic?

  She knew him too well. Well enough to know he thought of her as a friend. As a best friend. He always had and he always will. Although    she knew this she found it hard to grasp.

_  This is the place in my heart,_

_  This is the part where I'm falling apart,_

_  Isn't this just where we met?_

_  This is the last chance I'll ever get._

  The train crossed a bridge; on both sides there was water, pure blue water. A sea of tears, she wiped the inner corners of her eyes, her fingers moist from her tears. The water was calm, and steady. But she wasn't, she was more like a rapid, following its own course, not knowing where she was going, blinded by her own tears.

_  Crystal and see through and not enough to you,_

_  'Cause you don't-_

  She felt someone pull of her headphones and she snapped back to reality. Back to the crowded train with shouting kids eager to get to school. Back to the truth, back to him.

  He held her headphones in his hand and smiled, "Since when do you listen to Muggle music?"

  "It's for Muggle studies," she said matter-of-factly.

  "What were you listening to? You looked so peaceful."

  She forced a smile, "Just a special little song," she stammered.

  He sat down next to her and sighed, "Hmm I swear it took me so long to do my stupid defense against the dark arts homework. And please don't start on your little 'do your homework at least 3 weeks before' lecture."

  "What do you mean?" she asked, avoiding his eyes, she didn't want to be reminded.

  "Nothing," he grinned, his cute grin.

  She turned back to the window, and as the forest came to a clearing she thought they were nearing their destination, near their home.

They passed a tunnel in silence, both with minds on people, both aware of the awkwardness but they didn't know what to say. Hermione ran her fingers through her hair, something she wasn't known to do.

  "You okay?" He asked, leaning forwards and touching her cheek, trying to pry her face back to face him.

  She flinched under his touch, "I'm fine." She didn't turn back to him.

  "I'm going to go get changed before we get to Hogwarts," he stood up and stretched.

  "Bye Ron," she said, trying to sound normal.

  "Bye 'Mione, see you later," he grabbed his bag and his quill and piece of parchment and walked out the door, when he got to the door he stopped and turned back to her, he held up her head phones and walked back to her.

  "Oops almost forgot," he handed them to her, "see you."

   He went to the door once more, he turned back to say something, but decided against it. The door shut with a soft click.

She placed her hand on where he had touched her on the cheek.

  "Yeah I love you too," she whispered. 

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**A/N: **hmmmm just a note to say I wrote this on a bus on an art excursion with "Lilo and Stitch" playing on the TV and people yelling around me and avril in my ear =P and afta dat I had 2 type it ALL up *sighz*

Sorry if it seems to draaaaaaaaaag on so long but im tryn sumthin different with this story, instead of my usual 600-word chapter ones I am trying to achieve +1000 words.  Also because I will probabli have one song per chapter its gonna make it even longer (and harder) to write.

Fanx to Julie for agen lending me her cool Tokyo pen to write this on and mel, laura, evelyn, joan, von, nat, ish and all those otha ppl who read dis and gave me suggestions and made me feel bad by saying "aaww its so sad and sweet" over and over again…

AND ONE FINAL NOTE: ~*~*~ FANK U DANA HUNI FOR YA GR8 EDITING~!!!! *MWAH* FANK U FANK U FANK U~!!!


	3. Chapter Two: Lost Without You

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters…. Nah duh~!!! Owned by wonderful J.K. Rowling who non wonderfully killed SIRIUS!!!! Sumtyms I relli wonder the point of these disclaimers, but I really wish I owned DRACO..!! 3 3 3 3

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I give it all to Mr. Black: thanks for the review. Glad ya like it!

I wish I would get more reviews but mai fwend says it harder to get reviews for Draco/herm fics… I guess I gotta write more!

**++Chapter Two: Lost Without You++**

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  Draco leant against the door outside "DFDA 21", although he himself was in Hogwarts, his mind was somewhere else, somewhere far away, somewhere he wanted to escape from. But it's not as if he could. It was like a fly, you try to brush it away from you, but it keeps on coming back.

   His fellow Slytherins, Crabbe and Goyle, were nowhere to be seen, surely off to find more food before the lessons began, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything at all. It wasn't like his life really mattered.

  He heard footsteps approaching him, he turned his back to them and pretended to be immensely interested in a painting outside the classroom of a knight fighting a dragon. The footsteps came to a stop near him.

  "Malfoy?" Came a familiar voice.

  Draco didn't turn, but remained with his back to the talker.

  "What are you doing here so early?" asked Harry, suspiciously.

  Draco turned back his head with disgust to face the 'Dream Team', Harry and Ron, he didn't say anything, or sneer. Which was unusual. He felt like telling them to go and stuff themselves. For some reason he had manners than day.__

  "Come on, he isn't going to talk to us," Ron grabbed Harry's arm and dragged him into the classroom, who's door had just been opened by a tall woman.

  Dumbledore had talked to them about a new teacher, Professor McMahn, their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Draco looked at her and was surprised to find a tall, slender female figure with hair so black it almost looked purple. Her eyes were an eerie icy shade of blue, somehow he felt like he's seen them somewhere before. 

  She smiled at Draco, a perfect smile, with no teeth showing so you couldn't really tell what she was thinking. Like the Mona Lisa, mysterious and seductive.

  Draco was mesmerized by her for a while before turning back to his old self. He picked up his bag from the ground and hurried into the room, which stank of stale paper.

  He charged past Harry and Ron sitting in the front row, who were talking about Quidditch, but you could tell their eyes were on him, it wasn't hard to see something was up with Draco.

  Draco stopped at the back row and ploncked down his stuff with a loud clank and sat down, pulling his bag off the table.

  He ran his hair through his silver-blond hair and before long he was lost in deep thought again.

  The funeral… the way the rain pattered down on everyone wearing the traditional colour of black, it was like the "perfect" funeral. If there was such a thing, the types you see in movies and read about in books. But never experience.

  It was different for him, he experienced the death of not one but two people. His uncle, who he had never been really close too. He sometimes wondered why his father always seemed to change the subject when Magrese was brought up. He had never felt close to his uncle, not that he could imagine himself being close to his uncle, he was so much like Draco, that being around him caused him to feel dizzy. 

  Draco didn't feel bad that day about Magrese's death, he didn't know how to feel, later he swore at himself for being so naïve, sure he never talked to him, but he was a family member.

  The death of Narcissa dug a deep gap in Draco's heart, it was like that feeling that kids have when they wait in a line to buy ice-cream but to, when they get to the front, find all the chocolate gone. But it was more intense. He felt like there was nothing to live for, his mother was his north, east, south and west (a/n hehe read a poem in English about that) she was the only person he ever trusted.

  After the priest finished reading, god know what, Draco finally looked up. His father was not present, it was strange, you would think the death of his wife and a brother would have affected him, but it seemed like he didn't give a shit. 

  Sure he was never really close to any of them. 

  The classroom was beginning to pile up with Slytherins and Gryffindors, who have just arrived from their lunch time, noisy clatter filled the room as Professor McMahn picked up a piece of chalk and started writing something on the board, the chalk creaked under her pressure and Draco looked up to see the words "Moritus Subito".  _   
  _He felt two heavy people sit down either side of him, who grunted at him, he merely looked left to right. He knew they were going to come but he almost didn't want them too. He wanted to be left all alone, out of this world. The appearance of Crabbe and Goyle made him snap back to reality. He wasn't sure whether he liked his fantasy world better or not.

  The teacher's words blurred over him, she talked about something, and he didn't listen, he just kept on looking at nothing, fixing his attention on nothing at all, which he found harder than actually thinking about something. She saw this, she looked at him, stopped for a minute, then continued talking. She paced up and down the class.

  "Now today we will be talking about a new spell that has come to our attention…" she started and wrote more numbers and digits on the board, which everyone copied down, except for him.

  "-there is still no confirmation on the actual cause of this spell…" 

  Draco looked at Crabbe and Goyle, surprisingly they were actually listening to her in interest, or at least pretending to, they might have just been drooling over he, like the rest of the males were. Draco felt disgusted. She was a teacher for god's sake!

  "-but it is known to kill sharply and painfully…" 

  Sharply and painfully, Draco thought, that must have been how his mother died. And his uncle. No matter what Lucius said to him, he still felt there was something wrong about the way he said "no one knows how they died". 

  Draco didn't trust him.

  Or himself.

  Why did he have to think about this now? What the fuck was wrong with him?__

  "Mr. Malfoy?" the professor smiled at him, he felt the strange sensation again through him, like he's meant to know her but, he doesn't know from where. He sat up straight and straightened his tie, before being aware that everyone's attention was on him.

  "I don't know miss," he said, guessing what she asked him.

  "Have you even been paying attention?" she asked, walking towards him, stopping right in front of him, "maybe you would like to change seats with someone else so I can make sure you are listening to this, hopefully so current affairs had not affected anything."

  He stopped and stared at her when she said that, how could she have known? No one knew, not even the principal, Lucius had made sure no one was told, like he was hiding something, but how could she..?

  "No thank you miss," He said simply, hoping she would pass him, fat chance.

  "Mr. Weasley?" she turned her attention to Ron, who was sitting in the front row, before he pulled a face, obviously not wanting to move.

"May you kindly swop-?"

  "But Miss… Me and Harry-" Ron started.

  "Fine Fine, both of you move to the empty desk at the back of the room, Mr. Malfoy?" she motioned to Draco. He wasn't listening.

The night he came home, the night before Hogwarts. The way the house smelt empty and only one person greeted him.

  The look in Lucius' eyes. 

  Draco had stormed past him, not believing what he heard, but as he walked into the study, the world seemed to slow down to let him catch his breath, the vision of the two corpses on the floor, covered in white sheets, the clean floorboards, with no blood, the way the window was open and the curtain blew, the crowd of wizards around the room, investigating, was enough to break him up.

  It probably would have.

  But he was taught by his father to be a fighter.

  The room to the classroom burst open and a girl with brown hair and an armful of books stormed in. Draco looked up and saw Hermione with puffy red eyes, as if she had been crying. She stormed past the first row and walked to Professor McMahn, with the whole room's attention on her. 

  "I'm sorry I'm late," she said.

  "Of course, make sure you don't do it again," she smiled.

  Draco felt like screaming, how can everyone be so calm and normal when he felt like ripping himself up? Why would no one understand? Why wouldn't someone ask? To show that they care the slightest bit about him? Why would no one bother?

  The feeling of loneliness swept back to him.

  "MR. MALFOY! I WILL ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME TO MOVE TO THE FRONT DESK!" her voice rang throughout the class.

  Draco picked up his books silently and moved to the front. He sat down and pulled out a nib, he then dipped in red ink and started drawing.

  Screw you bitch, he thought, screw all of you.

------------------------------------------

  Hermione sat down next to Harry. Who just smiled casually at her before turning back to Ron, they were talking about a new tactic used in Quidditch. As usual.

  They didn't even care that she was 10 minutes late to class and that her uniform was all over the place. So un-hermione-like. 

  She sighed and tried to forget about her feelings of unworthiness.

  Her eyes wandered around the new classroom decorated by Prfessor McMahn. 

  She couldn't stop herself, the tears were yelling to come out again. Why did this always happen? Why can't she move on?

  Her attention turned to Draco, who was sitting by himself at the front, he didn't make any rude comments, he didn't do anything. He looked like a dummy just sitting there. The back of his head suddenly became interesting.

  He moved his head to the left and she stared.

  On his wrist where lines of blood, or red ink. It was hard to tell, the lines destroyed his skin. His pale ghostly skin was freakily streaked. She turned her head away. It was disturbing. What was wrong with him, what was he doing?

  She turned her head again and stared, she saw him lift a nib pen dipping with red and drawing again. It was amazing that no one else seemed to be noticing. It was like they were the only ones in this empty classroom.

  The new teacher didn't care, she was blabbing on about some new curse, for once in her life Hermione didn't bother listening, she was up all night thinking, she just needed to sleep… her eyes drifted down. And she opened her mouth in contentment.

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  "DETENTION BOTH OF YOU!"

  Hermione opened her eyes wearily and stared up at Professor McMahn. Her elegantly silky hair was now a mess and her blue eyes fuming with rage. She shifted and looked behind her, as if expecting the person behind her to be the one getting detention.

  Professor McMahn pushed her way through the tables until she was in front of Hermione, she looked down beadily at her and said, "no, you, pumpkin. You and Mr. Malfoy, detention at my office at 8. Don't be late, and to keep an eye on you maybe I should move you too."

  Hermione stared up at amazement at Professor McMahn, she had never gotten detention before, except for the times Professor Snape gave it to her, but he was an incurable exception. She felt blood rushing to her face as she felt everyone stare at her. Especially Ron.

---------------------------------------

  Draco cursed under his breath, just to make his day worse, Goody-two-shoes had to site down next to him. He slided over on the bench reluctantly and gazed at the wooden table, in fake amazement. He quickly pulled up his sleeve and looked over at her.

  She had put her stuff on the table and her hair was falling out of her ponytail. It was waving in her face yet she didn't care. 

  He looked at her closely, _Man she looks terrible, _he thought. She looked like someone who just had woken up 2 minutes ago and hurried to class. He shook his head, since when did he start thinking about the mudblood like this?

  It made him weak.

  The deaths affected him more than he knew. He was turning into a powerless low life. He couldn't take this anymore. Everywhere he turned, he saw her, her face smiling down on him, her arms welcoming him, her breath soothing him. she couldn't get her out of his head, even though she was dead.

  The moment he came home, was the moment he had died. The moment it happened, was the moment he would never forget. And the stupid professor, whose voice passed through his ears, just annoyed him, the way she even looked slightly like her. Was enough to drive him crazy.

  "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" he pushed the desk over, spilling ink and paper all over the floor, the ink bottle smashed on the floor, the whole room fell silent, it was an eerie silence, like the one after a war. When the leader is defeated. 

  "Mr. Mal-"

  He pushed his way past her and stormed out of the classroom. Nothing was enough to stop him, not even his mother…

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**A/N: **to tell you the honest truth. Last chapter was going to be my last chapter. I admit, I was kinda annoyed I didn't get that many reviews, but hey we live in a competitive world. My friend Ish talked me into writing more, so here I am, writing. I've decided I'm not going to request reviews. If you think my story is worthy, then review, if you think my story is horrible, then flame.

I'll upload in a week or so (from now on I'll update every week or so)

Yup see ya later peopleeee!!! Dream about Draco tons! 


	4. Chapter Three: The Look In Your Eyes

**Disclaimer: **Do I need another one? I don't right? Well you know the deal n__n 

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**REVIEWS!** (Hugs kisses and hugs them all!)

Xx DeAne xx: Glad you like my attempt at angst!! And yes we all love Draco… Wow that's the longest review I've ever got!! ^^ I'll try to remember to mail you!!!! 

DanceChic0869: Hehe everyone likes angry DRACO!! Well can I blame ya?

Ema-hazel-ibit: THANK YOU! I'm writing now you see?? Well I hope this story is going to end up good…

Dream of Fayth: Just when I thought I had all the reviews I could get I get more. THANK YOU HEAPS!! I feel ever so HAPPY!!! I'm glad it's paid off!

Sammie-Chan: THANKS SAMMYYYYY!!! Magrese was cool, the opposite of Lucius… THAT MAKES HIM COOL!!! (T-T) hehe love that face!!!

Preciousone: THANK YOU FOR UR ONE WORDED REVIEWWW!! =)

AcCiDeNt-PrOnE ElF GaL: ISHHH!!! Thanks for review man! UR STORY IS HEEPS GUD! PPL READ!!!

^^** simon **^^: SIIMMMOONN..!! HELLO!!!! Kk thanks for review, nice to see u finally reviewed CYA!

Oh and before you start reading I just want to say… GO TO MY SITE!!! (Such cheap forms of advertising) -_-U

**++Chapter Three: The Look in his Eyes++**

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  Dumbledore clapped his hands as the four house tables were filled with hundreds of dishes. The first day of school always proved to have the best food as house elves were eager to set a good impression. The noisy chatter grew to a climax as the sounds of utensils hitting plates could be heard.

  Ron face shone with glee as a huge pot of marinated chicken drumsticks appeared right in front of him. He picked up three with one hand and reached for two buns with the other and placed it down on his plate. 

  Hermione sat silently watching him, as she herself scooped up some Caesar salad (a/n: they do have Caesar salad right?) and some potato mash.  She picked up her fork and attempted to eat her food while staring numbly at him.

  "Hermione? Eat some chicken," he said through mouthfuls, "It's really good."

  Hermione smiled, "It's okay."

  She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned whizzed around, the hand belonged to Harry who was looking at her intently. 

  "You okay Herm?" he asked, "you seem so different today."

  She didn't know how to feel, someone cared about her! If only Ron had asked her! That would have made all the difference, but nonetheless Harry is her best friend, she hugged him and said, "Don't worry 'bout me, I'm fine, just a bit tired. Don't really want detention on first day back eh?"

  "Yeah..*swallow*, that is strange," Ron muttered, he had now advanced onto the potato wedges, "she's a strange teacher eh? Kinda reminds me of someone…"

  Harry nodded.

  Suddenly Ron looked up as Lavender walked past, she was with her Parvati and they were laughing or more like giggling at some "joke" Lavender pulled. Hermione was disgusted; here they were, walking past, in their school skirts turned up at the hem and 3 buttons undone on their school shirts. Why did Ron like her? Couldn't he see the real person right in front of him?

  But the look in his eyes was enough to say, no, he didn't.

  She didn't get, there she was, she did something with her life other than put on make up and mascara in class, she has potential in life, she wasn't that bad looking, she knows what she wants, yet no guys go for her except desperate 5 years (a/n: she is in 6th grade). 

  There was a pitting feeling in her stomach, she felt like she was going to belch, but she knew she wasn't. She stood up suddenly and turned to Harry, avoiding all eye contact with Ron.

  "I don't feel so good…" she then hurried on, tears welling up in her face.

  How was the one she loved able to hurt her so much by just the look in his eyes?

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  The clock ticked a mournful tone as it reached 8o'clock. The gonging sounded eight hollow times.

  Tamarah shivered as the cold early-autumn wind blew in through the window and made her neatly stacked paper piles on her desk scramble. She hastily stood up and ran to the window, closing it with a loud click.

  Silence.

  She didn't like silence, she was always the loud, happy kind of girl, and people always disproved her for it, complaining about her to her parents, whispering behind her back. Until everyone had turned against her. Of course she was born into a wealthy family, and the word 'lady' meant quiet and obedient. But she hated that.

  As she leant against the window her hand resting on a cabinet she fingered a dirty old picture, sitting in a black case, she picked it up and stared at it.

  There was four of them, two of them smiling, the other two not. There were two girls early in their 16's and two guys who looked the same. The two people in the middle were laughing and waving, there was this look in their eyes as they looked at each other, one that Tamarah couldn't quite put in place, it was like the look that you see only on someone when they really love you and admit it, it was the look you know you couldn't dismiss and can't come between.

  Tamarah slammed the picture down on the cabinet, so that the glass of the frame shattered and hurried back to her desk.

-------------------------------------------------------

  Hermione stood quietly outside Professor McMahn's staff room. She heard something heavy slam and break and delicate footsteps, Hermione breathed and knocked on the door of the wooden mahogany door, after a few seconds, a slender model like face with long black/purple hair appeared. She smiled vixenly and directed Hermione in.

  Hermione gasped, Dumbledore had obviously cleared a new room for her when she came, everything seemed so new and the only word she could use to describe it was "mystical". Professor McMahn had obviously put a lot of effort into decorating her room, the top of the room to the floor were draped with tapestries of the silkiest blue she had ever seen. Seeing them just wanted you to touch them. 

  Her furniture was elaborate and arranged in such an order seeing them made you dizzy, neat bookshelves stacked with books rimmed in gold lined the walls and one corner had a cabinet with all these strange gadgets was the only word you could use to describe them. They spun and shook and hopped.

  But the thing that stood out the most was a tiny fountain of a silver dragon on her desk, it shone with all the colours of the rainbow and the tail and whiskers moved, it was so real, as it sputtered water onto the marble basin it was housed in.

  The only distraction in the room was a simple black photo frame which had been slammed down on a cabinet next to the window, the moonlight shone onto its upturned surface and through the cracks of glass Hermione could make out a dim outline of four people.

  WHAM!

  Professor McMahn slammed the picture down and smiled towards her. "Where is Mr. Malfoy tonight?"

  "I- Err- don't know," Hermione said, realising she clearly saw something she shouldn't have. 

  As if right on cue, there came a light knock on the door, Professor McMahn opened the door as Hermione walked over to the window. She stared out over the school grounds, she was pleasantly surprised, Professor McMahn had obviously been really lucky. She had a perfect full view of the lake and the moon which reflected on it was beautiful.

  "My my Mr. Malfoy, the busy man I see?" Professor McMahn smiled at him, "10 minutes late already."

  He stared at her with the biggest look of disgust Hermione had ever seen. Even with more disgust than he ever gave Rom, Harry or her. The look in his eyes was pure hatred.

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  Alphabetizing year 2 Defence Against The Dark Arts practice tests were no fun at all. The piles were let's just say HUGE and there must have been at least 120 papers. Draco muttered while sorting through them, sitting on a velvet couch while Hermione knelt on the floor trying to find where "Tresbay" fitted in. 

  Professor McMahn had put an anti-magic spell on them, and she said if any of them tried anything "fishy" they would get to handwrite out copies of them. What can we say? She is evil. (a/n: Excuse that line, just had 2 say it n__n )

  She left shortly, of course they didn't realize, she was as quiet as a mouse, closing the door behind her with a soft click. When Hermione finally realized she was gone (after a good 20 minutes or so) she stopped with the alphabetizing and yawned.

  Draco stared at her, "Keep on working, I don't want to be left with more than I need to do."

  Hermione motioned towards the door, "The evil witch is gone." 

  Draco didn't respond but she was sure she saw the smallest flicker of a smile.

  He's changed, she thought to herself, this isn't the Draco that she knew.

  She got up and sat down on an armchair facing Draco and looked around the room, which she obviously couldn't get enough off. Draco stopped once more and stared at her, but surprisingly didn't do anything. As he stacked a pile of A-C's something next to the window caught his eye.

  He stood up briskly and walked over to the broken picture frame, there was glass everywhere, it was a mess.

  "Repairo."

  The glass flew back to the frame, making it as flawless as ever and he picked up the picture in his hands. 

  It was turning brown at the edges with age and he could see it had obviously been looked at a lot of times before taking residence in the frame, there was white fold lines over the people's faces.

  There was a girl and a guy standing in the middle, the girl had her arm around his arm and was resting her head on his shoulder, she was very beautiful with light curly blonde hair which naturally falling to her sides and icy cold blue eyes, the same as his own, as she waved out the frame towards him. There was something in her face that he couldn't put to place, he's seen it before. The guy was of strong build, and he was smiling and waving too. He had short messy beach blonde hair and light hazel eyes. There was this look in the lover's eyes that Draco couldn't put to place. Put the scariest thing of all the guy looked exactly like Draco.

  There was a girl on the side of the guy, she had long glowing purple hair, the type of look which earned you instant popularity, she was frowning and looking at the couple. Her face was so familiar, Draco was sure he had seen it before.

  On the side of the girl was another guy, who just stared at her the same way a jealous friend does. He wanted her, Draco could tell. But nothing could intercept the true meaning of love. The guy looked like the other guy, except he didn't. His hair was shoulder length and slick and he had light blue eyes too, but much more lighter than the girl it looked like ice.

  On the bottom was text written in fast scribbling writing.

  It was stained with mysterious black dots across three of the names so he could only barely make out one.

  Tamarah.

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**A/N: **Phew. Took me a while to write coz I've been busy with my school work *gag*, I'm starting to like writing this story ^^ I think it's my best yet. For those smart people out there I guess you can work who the other three people in the picture were .

And one more note, the romance will come as soon as something horrible and bloody comes. ^^ (the next chapter possibly) so stay tuned!!!

Cya and dream about Draco tons!!

By the way sorry for this short chapter!!!


	5. Chapter Four: A Lesson in Love

**Author note: **Okay HELLO people! I'm glad you liked my fan fiction and continued to read this far! Okay I just wanted to say a few things, first of all…

**IMPORTANT NOTICE****!** I'm looking for a beta reader, or beta readers =) someone who reads my chapters before they are posted and improve them. If you are interested drop me a review note or email and I'll reply back!!!

I'm also so sorry that it took like 2-3 weeks for this to get back, mainly because I had 2 tests and assignments on the same week (resulting in over work) and then since  had no plot for this but yeah… the next one will be up soon because it's already half written!

This chapter was actually inserted, I was meant to post the suicidal chapter then I thought, no wait, too much on Draco and Hermione. Need other characters…so this chapter was inserted (I'm sorry those people who want suicide) This chapter is kind of not interesting. SORRY! The next chapter however… *cough*

And another notice, just to tell you all when to check on this story, check on Saturdays and Sundays, for that is when I upload my stories (weekly coz I write pretty slow) and so far I haven't got a single flame… I should be happy but being the strange person I am I am worried. Is there anything wrong? Something you hate? Tell me and I will improve it. 

Okay enough of your precious reading time… Get on reading (but wait reviews first)

**REVIEWS: **(so happy and glee and loves them all!)

DanceChic0869: I like that chapter too… ^^

Sammie-Chan: Hehe… FANX SAMMAI!!! Cya lataaa…!!! Oh and GET BETTER SOON!

Preciousone: THANK YOU MY CONSTANT REVIEWER…!!! ^^ 

Love2045: Thanks, although I don't think it's the best, glad you like it! 

Tinu: Haha! Yeah I think Draco and Hermione snogging would be fun! But wait while the story is being developed!

Innocent**teen: HAHA! I didn't get half of what you said at the beginning but thanks for your constructive criticisms review. I APPREACIATE IT! Seriously, now I can improve it!!! Okay, well I always had problems with grammar and I will try not to make everyone perfect from now on! (what a fantasy world I live in)

AcCiDeNt-PrOnE ElF GaL: ISHY! Okay I'm so glad you and Wev will guide me through the hard stages of fanfiction! ^^ Thanks heaps! I got my first beta reader. Although I do have to say your reviews are… eventful.

Hellhades: LoL thanks JASON!

**++Chapter Four- A Lesson in Love++**

**---------------------------------------------**

The sky was a moderate cloudless blue. Being early in the morning, there was still dew in the air, it felt cool and relaxing. Harry sighed with glee as he walked between Ron and Hermione down to Hagrid's hut. He was really happy that both of his best friends chose to do Care of Magical Creatures, and more happier because Hagrid was teaching it. 

  But most of all he thanked God that he had at least one period today without the Slytherins.

  When they got there they saw the back of a huge man wearing a light brown jacket, he looked like a rock, obviously trying to pick up something heavy, grunting.

  "Hagrid?" Ron asked.

  "OW!" Hagrid shouted as he dropped the box on his toe, yelling in pain and attempting to clutch it.

  Harry ran over to him, "Hagrid are you alright?"

  "Nuffin' to worry 'bout Harry," Hagrid grimaced, "boy Amolitas are 'eavy. " (a/n: Excuse my attempting at writing Hagrid speech)

  Ron and Hermione had now ran up to him as well and were examining his foot, which he seemed unable to move, they would ask questions later. Hagrid bounced over to a tree and leant against it, resting his foot on its heel with his toes turned up. Hagrid looked quite ridiculous.

  Harry was glad Draco wasn't here. 

  By now the rest of the class was starting to appear, the usual bustle of crowds as they walked towards Hagrid's hut, Ron turned his head immediately and tried to look for signs of Lavender, seeing her stand over with Parvati and some Ravenclaw girls, he turned beetroot red.

  Hermione pretended she didn't see anything, "Hagrid are you sure you're all right?" 

  "Ahh, don't worry 'bout me," Hagrid tried to smile, "just a bruise, ye know how fast I 'eal." He winked at her and turned to the class.

  "Good morning Ravenclaws and Gryffindeers," Hagrid motioned all of them to come closer, "this year we –er- have a new system. We are gonna be –ah- studying a new course designed 'specially by the Ministry." He frowned a little.

  "The –er- Ministry banned some ov' the creatures that I planned on showing yer," Hagrid continued, "due to –umm- risks. But I got ya'll somethin' I'm sure ya'll like." He forced another smile. Harry pitied him, he knew of Hagrid's love for anything with fangs, he thought they were "cute". Look at "Fluffy" for example. 

  Hagrid walked over to the wooden crate and opened the lid carefully, everyone stood on tippytoes trying to peep over other's shoulders, trying to get a glimpse of what was in the box, Hagrid reached his hand inside the box and a soft purr could be heard, the girls all awed as he pulled out a small furry purple creature that resembled a rabbit but with a long tail and large beady eyes.

  The boys all sighed and looked away but the girls started calling out.

  "Omigod how cute!"

  "What are they called?"

  "I'm glad we finally get something cute!"

  Hagrid, however still looked discouraged as he explained to the class that they were Amolitas, and came from northern Ireland, the girls of course listening intently while the guys moped about, but secretly finding them fascinating.

  "So what do we do Hagrid?" asked Hermione intently after he finished talking.

  "Eer- that's the thing," Hagrid whispered to them, "I don't know. I've never dealt with creatures like these before."

  "Hagrid?!" Hermione yelled, getting looks from the rest of the class she whispered, "what's going to happen?"

  Harry watched Hermione trying to reason with Hagrid and the rest of the class staring before talking, he couldn't help but feel worried. More worried than he was about her yesterday when she stormed off. He knew Hermione too well, something was wrong. And she was clearly hiding it.

  "Oi Harry? Shouldn't we…" Ron broke his train of thought, motioning towards Hagrid and Hermione.

  "Nah, they'll work it out sooner or later," Harry took his eyes off her and turned to his red-haired friend.

---------------------------------------------------

  As it turned out, Hagrid never worked out what they did, but not wanting to lose his face, he took Hermione's advice.

  "Get inter two's," Hagrid bellowed to the class, who shut up immediately, "I think' there's enuff for that. But –um- just try and work out what yer meant to do with them. The first pair to work it out will –ah- get 25 points to their house, each."

  The class hurried into pairs and taking out the Amolitas. Harry and Hermione ended up together and went towards the crate, among the messy wave of hands, attempting to get one.

  "What about Ron?" Harry asked, being a three some was a pain sometimes.

  "He's already got a partner," Hermione said, turning her head away and grabbing one that looked a lot fatter than the rest.

  Harry scanned the grounds for Ron and saw him standing next to Lavender.

  It was clear who was the happier one. Lavender was chatting with her friends still and when Ron tapped her, she turned with a look of annoyance. Harry couldn't hear what they were saying but he was sure it was something about getting an Amolita, as Ron was making his way towards him.

  "Hey Ron!" Harry exclaimed, patting Ron on the back.

  "Hey Harry," Ron staggered as he held one in his hand, "Okay, talk to you later okay?" And with that he rushed off to Lavender, who was now fixing up her hair.

  "Strange nowadays isn't he?" Harry asked Hermione, who was now sitting down on the grass, stroking the Amolita. 

  "I mean only because he likes her," Harry sat down next to her, "if you ask me, I think she's a slut." 

  Hermione stopped stroking the Amolita and stared at him. Harry looked down at her, surprised, what the hell was wrong with her? 

  "Umm Hermione?" he asked, waving his hand in front of her.

  "Huh what?" Hermione jerked her head, "Sorry Harry." 

  She smiled. Someone else felt the way she did.

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  "So… umm… Lavender…?" Ron muttered, more to himself than to her.

  "What?" Lavender jerked her head around and looked at him, "what do you want?"

  "I- er," Ron staggered on his words, his ears turning an embarrassing shade of red while he fed the Amolita some cashew nuts which it ate in contentment. It purred and rubbed against Ron and suddenly its eyes turned red and it started screeching.  

  It was a loud, horrible sound. A sound that didn't match the cute face of the Amolita. It was like a shriek of a baby the first time it breathes. Except a lot LOT more louder.

  The rest of the class turned its head towards the pair, seeing what had caused this sudden upraise. Hagrid hurried away from Neville who appeared to have been bitten by one of them and hurried to Ron.

  "What did yer do to him eh?" Hagrid breathed heavily, looking at it intently.

  "I-" Ron stuttered, avoiding looks from Lavender and her crowd who were now observing.

  "Did yer provoke 'im?" Hagrid asked again and looked at the Amolita, who had now calmed down and looking around with its beady eyes in amazement, as if nothing happened. It continued eating the cashew nuts from the small pile and purred in contentment.

  Hagrid laughed his hearty laugh, "Well Ron, sorry 'bout that."

  And with that he walked off.

  Lavender now joined Ron, "So what did you do to it?"

  Ron looked up Lavender and gazed into her deep brown eyes, her symmetrical face and cute blush to her cheeks, God, he thought. Please freeze this moment forever. 

  "Huh? What?" Lavender shook her head away from him then laughed, "I've seen those looks on guys many times before." She leaned in closer to him, her fair hair touching his cheek, his face immediately reddened as he smelt the sweet smell of cinnamon on her and her warm breath.

  "Admit it Weasley," she whispered to him, "You want me."

  Ron's scream could be heard miles away.

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   Professor Trelawney peered over her crystal ball and gazed at the class, being 6th year, a lot of her students had quit Divination and taken up another subject, she wasn't happy with the small class of 11, her used to be full classroom occupied by 30 students was now beginning to bare. There were several empty tables and seats at the back of the room, while everyone crowded around the middle section. Well everyone except for Lavender and Parvati who were sitting right in front of her, eyes gleaming.

  "Lavender, Parvati darlings," she motioned for her two top students to the front of the class, they stood up hastily and stood at the front of the class. Professor Trelawney now faced both of them, "Can you please hand out a set of tarot cards between every table?"

  Draco sat by himself at the far corner, as far away from her as possible, staring out the window at the green lawn. He yawned loudly before getting glances from Professor Trelawney, Lavender and Parvati, he faced the class again, "Well sorry." He muttered under his breath. 

  He was surprised he was the only Slytherin doing Divination. Even Pansy, who he thought would join, for any sight of him she could possibly get, refused to join. Maybe people were really starting to think about futures now. Even Crabbe and Goyle, who took up Arithmetic. But they were way too dumb to even get a T. (a/n: t is terrible. Quote from book!)

  Well it's better this way, he thought, I don't need more things screwing up my life. Enough to worry about now. With no one in this class, it could be a total bludge for him. He didn't need to worry about his future, his father had it all planned for him, graduate and then become a death eater. Against his mother's will of course.

  He stopped himself. Why the hell was he thinking about his bastard of a father and his mother now? Man he was depressing himself more than he needed to.

  The dream team, or two thirds of it, (a/n: Hermione quit. For those of you who forget like me) were chatting in the corner busily about Quidditch (surprise surprise), they were clearly the only other ones who kept this subject up for bludging.

  The tarot cards now reached his table, he mumbled and picked up the set held together with a fine red ribbon. He undid the bow and looked at the cards. They were decorated well and the pictures were moving.

  "Now, get into partners," Professor Trelawney said, "or threes." She said looking over at Neville.

  "And read your futures and write them down and hand them in at the end of the lesson." 

  The class scurried into the groups, leaving Draco alone and by himself. He didn't care, he knew very well what Professor Trelawney thought of his father, and how she would rather make him do nothing and give him a pass than tell him off.

  Yeah this was how everything worked, because of his father.

  Well couldn't hurt to pretend to be doing something, it was going to be his last Divination class.

  He set out the tarot cards in a pile and pulled off three, turning them over.

  They were a A king of Swords, The Knight of Cups and and The Number 13 Major Acarna card. (a/n: Okay before you read on let me warn you that I researched a little of this on the internet but I'm not accurate and made up most of it. I'm sorry to anyone who gets offended by this)

  A strong wind blew in through the window, flapping his hair into his face, he wiped it away as he grabbed for his "Tarot Cards and Meanings Edition VII". He flipped open the big hardcover book and scrambled through the pages. He reached the Knight of Cups first.

  _The Knight of Cups along with the King of Cups, The Queen of Cups and the Page of cups suggests fullfilness and love._

Yeah right, whatever, he turned the page and came across the King of Swords.

  _The king of swords, along with the Queen of Swords, the Knight of Swords, and the Page of Swords suggests conflict of the mind and body._

One more to go, he thought as he wrote that down on a piece of parchment. He kept on turning the pages, hoping for The Number 13 card, but he couldn't find it. He kept on turning the page, but it wasn't there.

  Suddenly there was a knock on the door, he looked up alerted as the rest of the class looked up. They were rarely disrupted. 

  The door creaked open and a bushy head stuck in. 

  "Umm, a message from Dumbledore," she walked over to Professor Trelawney and smiled and handed her a note.

  "Hey Herm!" Ron whispered to her, or more like, tried to whisper.

  She forced a smile as Professor Trelawney wrote down something on a scrap piece of parchment. As the old woman handed it over to her she touched her hand and then suddenly pulled away. She looked at her with her eyes bigger than usual making her look more like a bug than usual.

  Hermione just stared at her.

  "Miss. Granger is it?" she asked. Pulling her sleeve towards her.

  "Umm.. yes, but I gotta go back to-" she started.

  "WAIT! My dear, I sense horrible happening in your future, please don't go anywhere tonight and stay in the company of your friends." Professor Trelawney was not just talking to her but the whole class now.

  "Why?"

  "Someone is going to try to kill you tonight."

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A/N: Omigod, bad "cliffhanger" if that is what you call it. This chapter took me like two weeks to write. Omigod really didn't know what to put on it. I'm so happy I'm done. YAY. One more note, even if you hate this chapter please read on. The next chapter involves BLOOD!!! 

Okay please R+R!

~sophia~

  


	6. Chapter Five: A Lake of Blood

**sAuthor's Note: **Okay people chapter 6 now. So far I'm pretty happy with the story so guess what? I'm actually going to finish it! Since I haven't finished my other stories (hehe). And since holidays and my birthday are coming up I will either write a lot or a little.  Okay get on reading!

Omigod everyone wants Draco and Hermione! Haha! Well I do too but yeah… haha PATIENCE PEOPLE!

Reviews: (Omigod I'm SO HAPPY! I got like TONS of reviews!!!)

Dahlingzsalil: Thank you! I'll be reading your story!

Ilukaiba: I love DxH too! But this is a love triangle… hmm

Sammie-Chan: LOL! Sam you must like check on my ficcie tons… how do you know when it's uploaded? *suspicious* of course I will read you Inuyasha fic. As soon as I do my English poem. PROMISE!

CeLeStIaL BeInG: Hey ISH! Thanks for beta reading!! 

Fatso who cocnutty: I'll think about it~ ^^

Heather j.: Lol! Another Draco/Hermione person! Yay!

Love2045: Well considering Professor Trelawney is always kind of wrong… hehe. Maybe this time she might be telling the truth? *gasp*

Draco_Fan: HAHA! MORE DRACO AND HERMIONE PEOPLE! What about Ron? He's cool. Isn't he? Isn't he? 

Apollonia2: A site dedicated to them? I went to one like that before except I think it was at geocities and well I read a really good fanfic. I'll check it out in my spare time!

XsesenX: Sesen… thanks for offering to beta read. Me happy now! =) I can beta read you if you want! Well depends on whether I know what you're writing about… 

Dragongirl: OOH another beta reader. But wait I can't email you! You didn't leave me your email address. Well if you review me next time please leave your email address too!

Innocent**teen: I'm so sad now. *WEEPS* But oh well! I'll try to be better! PROMISE!

Fire's ice: Huh? How did you find my story? Oh well. THANKS SISTER! See you later alligator!

Preciousone: Yup. I would say the same thing! 

One warning… this chapter is… ummm, disturbing -_-

**++Chapter Five: A Lake of Blood++**

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  _A forest._

_  The leaves brushing past him as he ran, the wind blowing in his blond hair, the early morning smell and the dew. He was escaping. _

_  His feet made small insignificant noises on the gravel dirt as he ran through the path he had run through many times. Worn away by age, it was like a snake snaking it's way through the forest to the Manor._

_  'Draco!' a shrill voice rang out from behind him, behind the trees which appeared like shadows, penetrating. He turned his head to the direction of the silky voice and smiled, the first time in a long time._

_  He ran towards her with his arms outstretched._

_  The woman bent down and picked up the small boy, she laughed and hugged him close, she ruffled his hair and whispered in his ear, "I thought I lost you then."_

_  He didn't reply but hugged her closer for more comfort, she was what kept him safe._

   'Where are you boy?' growled a deep masculine voice from behind the bushes. Somewhere a tree shook and two magpies screeched and flew away. The boy gasped and hid behind his mother as his father stepped out, he flung his blond almost silver hair back as his hair and black cloak fluttered in the wind. 

_   'Oh there you are, move aside now, I need to take the boy to Cohen.'_

_   'No Lucius you said you wouldn't!' she shrieked, hiding her small feeble son more behind her._

_   'This is my son and what I do with it is my business now MOVE ASIDE!' he jotted forward and pushed her on to the ground, she wailed as she fell, quickly stepping up again to defend the boy, but he hit her across her left cheek with the palm of his hand, hard. She wailed and sobbed on the floor, clutching her cheek now steadily turning red._

_   'Don't hurt mommy,' said he boy, blinking back tears._

_   'Just shut up and follow me,' the man grabbed him by his wrists as the boy restrained, but he was too strong, too powerful, he slowly let go and let him pull him, his father's hand were leaving a red mark on his arm but he didn't object. He knew better not to._

_   'Mommy…' he turned around but she was gone._

----------------------------------------------------

  Draco sat up in his bed, panting. He moaned and touched his forehead, rubbing his eyes shut. His hands were freezing for some reason, although it was a humid room temperature. He looked over at the clock.

  11:49

  He slept through the whole afternoon and dinner, having skipped last period and just sitting his room, doing nothing in particular. No one had come to get him, but then again even if he did he would have been asleep and wouldn't have noticed him.

  His stomach rumbled. He was hungry, but it didn't matter.

  It's always the same dream, he thought, the same strange dream.

  Was it even real? Was that a memory? Or something less?

  For a minute his whole mind was on the dream, he nearly forgot about reality. But then it snapped back to him.

  His father. His mother. The abuse. The death-eaters. The threat.

  And the death.

  He wanted to forget about it all, but wherever he pushed it to in his brain it always found a way back to him. He needed to get away from it all, he laughed at that. That was exactly what he needed to do and was going to do.

  Tonight.

  He turned and got out from his bed, the old four-poster bed creaking, he opened his mahogany side drawer and pulled put a light, flowing, black cloak…

---------------------------------------------------------

  The dark shadow crept from the Hogwarts building, his eyes and body covered by his black cloak. He looked around the grounds as he stood at the top of the stairs to Hogwarts, seeing no movement from the lawn of grass he walked down the stairs slowly.

  The grass was still damp from the rain the day before. No one was out in the grounds.

  Except him.

  He rushed quickly across the grounds, his feet scraping the earth, hunched over, he was amazed how lucky he was, he got out of the school unnoticed. He stopped himself. Lucky? That wasn't the word. It was more like fateful.

  His feet took him to the side of the lake and he didn't even realize. His mind was so absent-minded these days.

  He stopped at the edge of the lake. He peered over his shoulder, back to the school, back to everything he knew. And wanted to forget.

  He turned back to the lake and peered into the surface.

  There stood a tall, gaunt figure in his late teens, his slicked blonde hair and icy crystal eyes covered. His chin long and his mouth, usually in a sneer, looked limp, like a lifeless dummy hanging off stage.

  He reached into his pockets and felt a sharp jolt. He pulled it out.

  The shiny blade shone under the moonlight, the edge gleamed for a second, curving into a perfect arch, the handle was plated in gold, but besides this, it was still a knife. A deadly knife, a simple instrument with so much power.

  "Now or never," Draco told himself, "I can't keep on doing this." 

  He pulled back the sleeve of his black cloak and his clear skin shone in the moonlight, he looked like a vampire. The reflection of the moon on his skin made it shine.

  An image of his father came into his mind, he imagined him standing there, saying to him to do this and to do that. For as long as he could remember, he tried to imagine his mother's face but all he could see was a blur. Although she was so much more important to him she wasn't significant in his life. Everything was ruled by his father.

  He raised the blade and placed it on the tip of his pulse, his skin quivered under the unnatural coldness. 

  "This is for you, father," Draco spat out the last word with disgust.

  He ran the blade slowly across his wrist, it was like something he had never experienced before, it was a feeling of remorse, a feeling he couldn't describe, a feeling of self-inflicting pain, it stabbed him, it struck him, it hit him. 

  The feeling of pain slowly traveling across his wrist, stinging him more and more as the blade ran more, digging into his skin.

  He held his hand over the lake as one drip of blood splashed into the surface, it created a small splash and quickly dissolved into the black water, it was so tiny, so insignificant, he felt like nothing.

  His father was the one he hated, the one who he loathed, the one he despised. He was his "little boy". Merely a puppet used by Lucius to show off, in front of his so called friends he would say how great Draco was at school, how he triumphantly won the last game of Quidditch, how he's heading his way to the top. 

  Bullshit.

  When they were alone everything little thing that Draco did that wasn't perfect or close to it resulted in beating, mostly with a cane, sometimes with his bare hands. Iit wasn't that that hurt him, it was more the thought the act that Lucius always put up. It was like he carried a paintbrush around with him, in front of others he painted himself as a nice, gentle, caring father. When alone he let the paint flow off him, revealing his true side.

  Draco hated it how he always hypocrites him. Anything that Lucius did that was wrong he would say it was Draco's doing. Lately Draco tried to do better than he usually did, in school and at home, he helped out, he studied. But did the treatment change?

  No.

  Lucius seemed to have think he won, he seemed to think that was only the beginning. That was were it got really bad, that was were Draco felt like doing good resulted in more pressurizing and pushing. More of pushing him to the top of the ladder which he knew he didn't want to get to.

  He wanted to break the rules, he wanted to do everything wrong, he wanted to be pitied by his peers, he wanted… 

  He wanted to be treated like a real son.

  By now the pain of the cutting was traveling to his heart, he closed his eyes, not in pain, but because he didn't want to see what he was doing. He was scared that he might think like his father again, and stop himself.

  No, no, No, NO!

  The blood had traveled down his arm and now reached his robe where he pulled it up, it looked like a slowly cascading waterfall, he turned his arm face down to the lake and let it drip.

  Lately he's just felt so… empty. Like nothing mattered in his life and he was living for no reason, everything around him he took for granted, and when he actually lost them he blamed himself over and over. 

  It was like everyone was out to get him, he didn't care about appearances or what people thought about him. He didn't know what he cared about.

  Being alone all of a sudden made him more sad than ever, he couldn't get over it, he couldn't trust himself. But being around others made it worse, he wanted to scratch their eyes out and yell at them, like it was their fault all this was happening.

  Maybe it was.

  He didn't want to do anything either, all that he ever enjoyed to do, or he thought was like a task he had to do to keep up. But why bother? He thought, it was his life, his fucking life. Why could no one see that? Why did they all act like it was theirs and he was simply an empty notebook, ready for any passer by to scribble in.

  His mother. If only…

  "I loved you," he said, "I loved you so much mother. Why was it you? Why not him?"

  He didn't even think twice about what he said.

  The blade came down again, this time closer to the main blood vessel, he knew he was slowly building up to the climax, he knew where it would hurt, he knew what he was doing. However this time it didn't seem to hurt as much, in fact it felt like a soft trickling of water down his arm, like when he got poured on on a hot summer's day. The relaxing cooling feeling.

  He was losing it, he could feel the energy seep out of him, sucked away by an invisible force, he felt his muscles weaken, he felt his body heavy, he wanted to close his eyes, he wanted to lie, but most of all, he wanted to die.

-------------------------------------------------------------

  Thump. Thump. Thump.

  She ran through the grounds, the leaves on branches of the trees sweeping her face, the gentle night breeze blowing her brunette hair into her face, into her tears.

  Her hair stuck to her face as she tried to swipe it away.

  But all that mattered was that she was escaping. Running away.

  Hermione didn't know where she was running to, maybe nowhere. Maybe she was going to run into a faraway place. Maybe she would run to the forest. Maybe she would stop running and go back, thinking it was a stupid idea.

  She panted and collapsed against a tree trunk, leaning on it for support as she leaned against it and closed her eyes. She wiped the trickle of sweat down the left side of her face and slid slowly down to the ground.

  She saw them, together, holding hands at dinner. It was feeding him bread and he was smiling like a fat boy who just got his cake. It was giggling at him while he said something. Everything else froze around them, they were alone, in their own little world nonetheless.

  She stood up, pushed away at Harry's hands as he tried to grab her, ignored the calls from Ron and barged out of the room, she ran all the way to her room, collapsed on the bed and wept.

  She wept, drenching her body of tears and the pain, she heard knocking on the dorm door, probably her roommates, but she ignored them and threw her books at the door. Very un-hermione like.

  But how could it have happened so fast? When she went to the Divination room they didn't seem to be "together". They didn't even seem to know each other, just two ordinary classmates. How could it have changed so much in a mere 3 hours?

  She gabbed a bunch of leaves from the trees around her. Autumn was coming and they already started to shed. The leaves were wrinkled and brown, old with age. They felt so hard that one single movement could break them, she crushed them in her hands.

  "I hate you so much Ron!" she yelled, glad out to be alone and where no one could hear or see her, "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

  She breathed heavily and dropped the crushed parts of the leaves on the ground.

  She turned her head sideways and looked over across the school lake.

  Tonight it was a full moon and as it reflected off the surface she water shone with a shine she had never seen it before. It was magnificent. It was beautiful.

  She wished she could dive in and swim, swim, swim her worries away. She wish she could relax in the cold liquid and let it engulf her, she wished she could felt the cold water cover her arms.

  Wait, she thought, what was stopping her? She could couldn't she? 

  She stood up hastily and half-in-a-daze walked towards the lake, she didn't know what she was doing, nor did she care. Maybe this is what they meant by being a slave to love? She walked, closer and closer.

  Suddenly she stopped.

  She wasn't alone.

  There stood a shadow, next to the surface, she could only see the back of the stranger, everything was hidden by a coat they were wearing. She squinted, trying to see who it was, she thought better than to shout out, it might not be someone friendly.

  She slowly advanced forward, what the hell was she doing? She should turn back now and alert someone. But then again when she thought about it, it's not like anyone could make it into Hogwarts grounds without being detected.

  It must be a student, or a teacher, or someone from the Ministry. No harm in that.

  "Hey!" she yelled out, the figure didn't turn around.

  She walked towards the person, "Excuse me…?"

  She stopped midway. She felt a chill down her spine. She felt scared.

  She reached her hand towards the shadow but before she could the person turned their head around.

-------------------------------------------------------------

  "Draco?" she asked.

  He didn't say anything, just stared into her and turned back to the lake.

  She didn't know what to do, was this even Draco? For one the usual Draco wouldn't be out in the grounds so late, and he would also have probably sworn at her by now, and lastly it didn't look like him.

  Sure it had his hair and his eyes but there was something in his face she couldn't put in place, it was like she was looking at a reflection of her pain, his eyes were shining with what looked like tears and his face was ghostly pale. 

  "Draco what are you doing?" she asked and reached out to grab his arm.

  She pulled her hand away as she looked at the knife in his hand, she saw the blood slowly trickling down the blade, he didn't seem to care, for the first time he spoke.

  "Get away Granger."

  She looked at his left arm where the sleeve had been pulled back and stifled back a scream.

  His arm was badly deformed, there were small cuts all across his arm and one big cut intersecting it, it was lucky he was still alive, she could see the major blood vein, which he just missed. The blood was gushing out and traveling down his arm, some of it dripping into his robe, others fell into the water. She was horrified by it, she had never seen anyone cut themselves before, she's read about it in Muggle books and thought of it as a stupid way to kill oneself. But when she was faced it, she was stunned and scared.

  "Draco, we have to get you to Madame Promfrey," she said and attempted to grab him again, but he shook her off.

  "Leave me alone, go. Piss off." He said without looking at her and raised the blade again.

  She couldn't let him, she couldn't let someone kill themselves in front of her, she didn't want to see.

  "NO!" she scrambled forward and grabbed his right hand where he held the knife, she tried to pull in out of his hands, careful not to touch the sharp edge. He was struggling, he was already weak from the blood loss and he tried to shake her off his hand, with one swerve he turned the knife out of her grasp and he felt it scrape some skin. 

  Draco felt blood trickle down his hand, but it didn't feel right, he couldn't feel any pain.

  He looked at his arm.

  It wasn't his blood.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **A/N: **This chapter's recommendation is: "One Wrong Turn" by CeLeStIaL BeInG which can be found under favourite stories. Okay that chapter was disturbing… even to me when I wrote it *shudder* oh well it's over and the next chapter will be as bright as sunshine! Okay probably not, it would be like a follow up to this but yeah! 

By the way my birthday is coming up on October the 5th and I also have a violin exam coming up so the best I can do is uploading this every fortnight. I'm really sorry! After this month the chapters will be updated more regularly!

And Lastly and most importantly **THANK YOU TO MY BETA READERS: **Ishani and Sesen innocent**teen for the great "betaring" of this chapter!


	7. Chapter Six: The Forgeries of Jealousy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, I would like to own Draco though… *sigh*… Magrese Malfoy, Professor McMahn and  Proffesor Colver however I do own. Rest belongs to J.K. Rowling

Author Note: Thank you all my great reviewers and all of you who bothered to read up to chapter 7! Okay this chapter is a bit boring and "draggy" and STRANGE but enjoy anyway! Okay I'm writing this on my birthday (coz sadly I have nothing better to do) before I go out to my party. So wish me fun!!! (not that I won't have any fun). This is out of the blue but does anyone recommend any good mangas to read?? Current mangas I'm reading are Peach Girl, Mars, Paradise Kiss, Confidential Confessions and Marmalade Boy. But I'm kind of getting bored of them =[ 

**++Chapter Six: The Forgeries of Jealousy ++**

----------------------------

  Hermione ran.

  She clutched her wrist with her other hand and sobbed. The red blood was still warm and spread like a crimson flower onto her hand. Strangely she felt no pain. It was like taking a dose of sleeping pills, feeling as if she was slowly dying… slowly slipping away… slowly falling asleep…

  She stumbled back to the castle. Draco might have been calling her, but she didn't care, she just wanted to leave him.

  How dare he! It was his entire fault, she tried to be angry, but no matter what she did she just felt this feeling of pity. She pitied him…

  Reaching the castle, she struggled to open the door and ran inside. Her feet sliding on the ground she ran on, past the Great Hall and towards the Gryffindor common room.

  I wonder if he's all right, for all I know, he might be dead by now. 

  She couldn't help but feel strange as the image of him and his arm kept on popping into her head, she felt sick, like she was going to hurl. She just couldn't get rid of the image in her head, the blood dripping white arm.

  She stepped up the stairs two at a time, rushing towards the common room. Many times she stopped and touched her head, she was starting to get a migraine. 

  She looked down at her wrist.

  The cut wasn't that bad, it was just long, it slashed at an angle across her wrist and blood was oozing out.

  She turned her eyes away and kept on climbing.

  Nearly there… she could see the familiar hallway which lead to the Portrait of the Fat Lady, come on, she told herself, nearly there…

  As she reached the top of the staircase she felt a feeling of relief, a few more steps and she would be there! Her comfortable bed all of a sudden seemed so welcoming, but she had to hurry, or else she might not make it. She stumbled on still.

  She felt something soft and furry rub past her shin and she looked down and stepped back.

  It was Mrs. Norris.

  In the night her fur blended in with the dark hallway and all you could see was those two bright yellow eyes…

  Hermione leaned against the wall staring at the cat; as if it got any closer something horrible was going to happen. The cat stepped towards her and raised its head in anticipation, staring at her with hunger in its eye.

  Suddenly it ran off towards the other end of the hallway, her bell softly ringing.

  Hermione breathed heavily, she had to hurry, Mrs. Norris would have gotten to Filch by now, and she didn't want to be caught out of bounds; Especially now.

  She half ran half fell towards the portrait. Yes, closer and closer, nearly…

  "Who goes there?" growled a voice she knew too well from behind her.

  Shit, she thought. She was caught.

  Hermione turned around and came face to face with the caretaker everyone loathed. She opened her mouth to speak, but she felt like she had now reached the soft bed of unconsciousness.

  And then she fell.

-----------------------------------------

  Draco lay next to the lake, he didn't know whether he fell or whether he lay down. He opened his eyes and looked at the stars. He remembered when he was young his mother would hold him in her arms and tell the stories of the stars, she told him that every star had a story and that every star was someone who cared for him.

  He half smiled.

  Hermione.

  Suddenly the name popped into his head, what was that stupid girl doing in the middle of the night? Wandering around the school? But there was something about the way she tried to stop him that he stopped and thought about her.

  Where was she now? How was she?

  He hit himself on the head, he was getting stupid, well half to blame for the blood loss.

  But she brought him back to reality, he remembered Hogwarts, he remembered Crabbe and Goyle, he remembered his first stolen kiss from Pansy in 6th year, he remembered last year's Quidditch match where there was a tie, the match where he finally caught the snitch before Harry the Pothead…

  What was this? Was he turning back? Just when he got so close to ending everything she comes out of nowhere and now he's like this? 

  But then something came into his mind, they way that Narcissa always told him that, 'no matter how low you feel, look up, because you are always among the stars with me, no matter what you do, as long as you're alive and well it's good enough for me'.

  Her words rang out in his head and he closed his eyes. But he thought that by doing this maybe he could see her again, and escape all this. He hated everything.

  This was his own battle he had to fight, the battle inside his head. But next time maybe he could do better… rather than the raise the white flag in defeat maybe he could try to triumph. To prove who he was. Not to his father, but to himself. Pulling out now was a cowardly thing to do and although his life was unbearable to live, there must still be some essence in it. 

  Suicide was just the easy way out, it was like cheating to get to the door of death before you're meant to go there. But in a way, after you die, people take more notice of you than they ever did, To die was to live forever in someone's heart. But when you actually stand before death you start thinking of life, and really appreciating it.

  To say you want to die and actually doing it was something very different.

  That was what suicide was.

  Maybe this wasn't the time to do this, maybe he shouldn't have done what he had done. Time for plan B.

  "Medicor." 

  The cuts on his arm slowly healed and he felt the pain stop. It felt so refreshing, like after taking a shower early in the morning to wake yourself up. He looked up at the stars again.

  "Mother are you there?" he whispered to the stars

  Funny how a stupid Mudblood was enough to bring him back and save him, he thought and with that he closed his eyes and slept.

-------------------------------------------

  The morning light shone through the boys' dormitories, Harry rolled over away from the rays and opened his eyes, he saw a blurry outline of Ron half falling off the bed snoring. He reached onto his drawer and pulled his glasses on and yawned.  Looking over at the clock told him it was 7:16.

  He stood up and scratched his head and he started putting on his robes.

  "I love you…" Ron muttered in his sleep, turning his head from side to side and kicking his feet. 

  Harry stopped and stared at him, man he needed some serious help. He walked over to Ron and slapped his head.

  "Oi mate, wake up." Harry walked away again, trying to find his tie.

  "What?" Ron sat up and attempted to open his eyes, "you destroyed my beautiful dream." He shook his head trying to get his hair out of his eyes.

  Harry faced him, "Uh…huh. No I stopped you getting horny."

  Ron looked down at his boxers and his ears turned bright red. He grabbed his sheets and covered himself in haste.

  Harry laughed and walked away.

  "Hey Harry have you seen my book?" Neville was rummaging through his bags, "The one that Gran got me."

  "Yeah I think you lent it to Hermione yesterday," Harry said as he triumphantly found his tie under his bed.

  "Oh yeah that's right," Neville said.

  "Ron, Hogsmeade is coming up and they've opened this new shop full of Quidditch stuff I hear, wanna go check it out?" Harry asked Ron who was very carefully dressing with his back to them.

  Ron turned his head around and nodded.

  "Hey Ron let's get some breakfast, I'm starving," Harry called out to Ron.

  "Yeah… alright," Ron muttered.

  "Oh and by the way who was the dream about anyway?" Harry winked.

  "SHUT UP!"

  Everyone in the common room turned their head to see a laughing Harry running down the stairs and Ron chasing him, still half dressed and raising his hand in a fist.

----------------------------------------------

  "Where's Hermione I wonder," Harry asked Ron, while spreading some jam on some slightly burnt toast.

  "O Munk- we's dreeping," Ron 'said' as he stuffed his mouth with a whole rash of bacon.

  "You're sick, close your mouth when you talk."

  Ron looked around at who said it and slowly turned back to Harry, afraid to look back at what was behind him.

  "Huh? Do I really look this bad?" Lavender teased, sitting down next to him.

  Harry rolled his eyes and started an intense conversation on mandrakes with Neville.

  "Uh, no- I just…" Ron looked down at his food.

  Lavender smiled, "alright Ron."

  She reached forward and started peeling an orange. Is this all she eats? Being a girl and beautiful must be hard to keep up, Ron thought.

  "You know a Hogsmeade weekend is coming up soon," she placed a small piece of the orange inside her mouth and chewed, "so you going to take me?"

  "Uh…" Ron said, while his mind was going crazy.

  SAY YES! One half of him said, You like her right? Right? Right? But the other half was going you CAN'T, you were meant to go to the new place with Harry.

  Friend's promise…? A beautiful Girl…? Ron thought, "AARRGGHH THIS IS TOO MUCH!" Realizing too late he said it out loud.

  "Really? It is? I thought Hogsmeade would be kind of fun," Lavender said, disappointed, "Oh well, I'll go with my friends then!" She smiled and walked off.

  "What happened to Ron?" Neville asked, poking Ron who had his face submerged in his cereal, looking as still as a statue.

  "I think he just died," Harry drank some orange juice.

  "I DIDN'T JUST DIE!" Ron raised his head and yelled. Neville shrunk back in fear at Ron's face dripping with milk.

  "Life is so unfair," Ron sighed.

  He continued eating, it wasn't too late to go back to her and say yes. Harry would understand wouldn't he? Well he better, otherwise he would just be a lousy best friend. But it wasn't hard to tell that Harry didn't really like Lavender.

  Ron sighed.

  "You've sighed a lot today," said Ginny, who Ron only just realized was sitting where Lavender had sat two seconds ago, "anyone seen Hermione? She wasn't even in her dormitory this morning when I checked up on her."

  "I wonder what happened, hope she's alright," Harry said.

  "Yeah maybe she was studying for the N.E.W.T.S already," Ron joked, "you know how she is, sitting up late till the morning in the library is the thing for her."

  Ron suddenly became aware that everyone was staring behind him, he slowly turned his head.

  "Ah Hermione, I was only joking…ha ha ha…" Ron's voice trailed off and he resumed to eating his cereal. Man I'm hopeless, he thought.

  "Hermione!" Harry smiled, moving to his right to make way for her to sit between him and Ron, "where have you been?"

  No use lying, she thought, "I was in the hospital wing." She didn't sit down.

  "What happened?" asked Ginny concerned

  "I just- never mind," Hermione said it matter-of-factly like it was the end of the matter.

  "Hermione what happened? Harry asked again stubbornly.

  "I- just hit my knee on the corner of a table that was all," Hermione lied, she didn't want to tell them the truth, or maybe she didn't want to admit the truth.

----------------------------------------------------------------

  _"She cut her artery, in one single stroke, it was amazing she still survived, if Filch didn't find her sooner…"_

_  "But why would she? What did she say when you asked her?"_

_  "She didn't say anything, it was like…"_

_  "Like what Professor?"_

_  "I think she's ashamed to admit it."_

_  "But Miss Granger seemed to healthy, so happy, she had many friends, good grades, why would she do something like this?"_

_  "Sometimes the brightest smiles hide the saddest people…"_

Hermione sat in Muggle studies alone in the corner, she remembered what she overheard the previous night when she was pretending to sleep. 

  Great, now the headmaster and nurse think she's suicidal.

  Why didn't she tell them about Draco? Maybe he was there the whole time in the hospital wing too? Maybe he was already gone…

  Would he have been called for attempted murder if she had told, would he have been expelled? And it makes no difference whether she had said it or not…

  He wasn't there at breakfast, the whole time she sat there, listening to her friends talk hollow talk she wanted them to notice she big slit across her wrist. She didn't even bother covering it up, she wanted them to notice something.

  She didn't even care that she nearly died, she didn't think about it.

  It was a good thing that neither Harry nor Ron were in this class. Or Draco.

  But in a way she was curious, wouldn't there have been an announcement over breakfast if he was… gone…?

  And there wasn't, which meant one thing, he was still alive!

  She was almost happy! That her arch enemy since 1st year was still alive somewhere…

  "Miss Granger? Seeing as you are so in your own little world could you take something to Professor Trelawney?" Hermione looked up at Professor Colver.

  "Y-Yes?" she asked, aware that she was probably distracting the rest of the class and not paying attention.

  "Professor Trelawney once again asked me to take some Muggle books here to her," Professor Colver handed over some heavy books.

  "A-Alright," Hermione walked out.

  Gryffindors and Slytherins had Divination now, maybe she could see him…

------------------------------------------------------------------

  Hermione tried to balance at the top of the ladder to Divination. The heavy books on "Ancient Muggles: Superstitions and Customs" Volumes 1 through to 6 were as heavy as a whole set of Britannica Encyclopedias!

  She forced one hand free and knocked on the door where she could hear voices from.

  The bug-eyed teacher opened the door and looked down at her, "Hello there dear. Need a hand?"

  For a woman possibly in her 100's she was immensely strong as she carried half of the books.

  Hermione looked around the classroom. There was Lavender and her group at the front, gossiping and giving Ron looks. Ron looking smug was sitting at the side with Harry, there were other people from Gryffindor and Slytherin. Where was he?

  Her heart skipped a beat.

  Shit! He wasn't here! Everyone else was! Maybe…

  "Alright thanks dear, you can go back to class," Professor Trelawney said as she grabbed the rest of the books from Hermione's hands, breaking her train of thought, she stopped and stared at her wrist, Hermione followed her gaze.

  "Are you the same girl from yesterday?"

  "Y-Yes," Hermione said.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

  Draco ran to Divination, cursing himself, he was late.

  He stopped running- since when did he care?

  He had now reached the door, he climbed the ladder and pushed open the door and peeked his eyes out, aware the whole class was staring at him including Professor Trelawney and Hermione. 

  Granger? 

  He stared at her face, full of emotion hard to read and looked down at her wrist, which Trelawney had now grabbed. He was amazed that it was now a scar. Then again what did he expect?

  He couldn't get his eyes of her as she looked away in a hurry. 

  He scrambled into the room and slowly walked to the back of the class, she was purposely avoiding his eyes.

  "Class… as you can see, my prediction of yesterday was correct!" Professor Trelawney said as she raised Hermione's arm in the air like she just won a boxing match, like attempted murder was perfectly normal.

  "Now who was it?" she asked.

  "I- err-" Hermione stuttered.

  SHIT!

  Draco swore under his breath, great, the stupid Mudblood was going to turn him in for sure, he should have just died yesterday, he could imagine it now, everyone looking down at him more than ever, she was the smartest person in the school! 

  "It was an accident…"

  Draco looked up startled, aware that Hermione's eyes were now on him, the rest of the class following her gaze, her eyes had lost all colour and emotion, they looked so empty, she looked angry, yet sad at the same time. Why wasn't she giving him in?

  "I… just accidentally cut myself in Muggle studies while cooking some food." Hermione smiled weakly back at Professor Trelawney.

  It was good that Professor Trelawney had no idea what was taught in Muggle studies. Or that the school had no cooking bays.

  With that Hermione turned away and went back through the door.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

  Hermione stretched as she hurried from the Muggle studies room.

  She couldn't forget the way that Draco looked at her, like he was amazed she was still alive. Almost like he had wanted her to be dead. That scumbag.

  She hurried to Defence Against the Dark Arts, she needed to tell Ron how she felt

  She was sick of waiting for him. She was sick of waiting for Ron to realize that she loved him.

  He didn't know how much he hurt her, making her jealous with a bimbo like her.

  Jealousy?

  Maybe that was the trick! If she went out with someone maybe he would finally realize her! She hit herself on the head. Stupid Muggle movie they watched today made her think like a stupid idiot.

  But maybe it was just stupid enough. Maybe this way he would admit his feelings for her, because he wouldn't be jealous unless he had feelings right?

  The hallway was nearly empty, everyone was already in a classroom, it was a pain walking from the most eastern side to the most western side of the castle.

  Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around.

  "Malfoy?" she gasped.

  He grabbed her by the wrists and dragged her into a broom closet. 

  Merlin! Hermione thought, struggling. First he nearly murders her, now he was going to rape her.

  "LET ME GO!" she yelled.

  He closed the door and the room turned pitch black, Draco was now standing between the door and her, she could feel his warm breath on her face. Man she didn't want to lose her virginity like this. She moved her feet to avoid stepping into a bucket.

  "Lumos."

  Draco's wand shone up and illuminated his face.

  "Why didn't you tell her?"

  "Huh?" Hermione didn't expect this.

  "Why didn't you tell the old hag what really happened?"

  It took Hermione a moment to realize whom he meant by 'old hag'. The truth was she didn't know.

  She looked down at his wrists. It looked just like her own, and there were tons of small scars, obviously magically healed. So he had gone to Madame Promfrey's after all!

  "I-" Hermione stuttered, what was she going to say?"

  Suddenly something came into her mind.

  "I didn't because…" she said, now confident, "I need you."

++++++++++++++++++++++++

**A/N: **Quotes: "The forgeries of jealousy" is by William Shakespeare. Strange how I can suddenly remember all this school stuff -_-

Special Thanks to my beta readers: Ish, Sesen and Amber/girlidragon. ^^ THANK YOU ALL HEAPS!

Oh and Amber after you told me that this twist has been done before I started crying. Actually I didn't ^^ I was just really disappointed. And here I thought I had an original storyline. GGRR! CURSE THE OTHER AUTHORS! I mean… I like potatoes. =)

Man that was bad… =[ I mean I couldn't really reason why Draco stopped himself. It might not seem very realistic and I APOLOGIZE!  But thanks to Reiko Momochi (author of "Confidential Confessions") for that was where I got some of the… let's say "inspiration".  It's so weird whenever I write anything funny I always imagine all this anime visuals like the sweatdrop and everything. Call me obsessed! For some weird reason this chapter I think is funny… then again I'm weird…

Anyways I feel like re writing my old stories because all my friends are telling me they liked them too… hmm… considering… Until next time… 

Spread your wings and believe

Sophia (who is now 14!!)


	8. Chapter Seven: Truth, Tension & Tears

Disclaimer: I am not trying to earn money out of this fic. Because that would be illegal. I am merely writing it for my own and others *coughs loudly* joy. Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling, a fabulous author.

Author's Note:  Whee! If you're reading this, it means that the yearlies are over. WHOO! TIME TO PARTY! I mean… =) happy happy mushrooms. This chapter features darkness… Okay R+R please!!!  

**++Chapter Seven: Truth, Tension and Tears++**

------------------------------------------------------------------------

  "Whatever mudblood… you might need me," Draco said calmly and he leaned in close to her ear, breathing every syllable as he spoke, making her whole body shiver. "I certainly don't need you."

  "That's now what I mean you arrogant arsehole!" she swore pushing his head aside. What happened to him? Why was he back to his old self? What happened to the cutting? Most of all why the hell was she still in a broom closet with him?

  However, she certainly got his attention; he rubbed his head, "Oww."

  This certainly wasn't normal! Something happened! Someone who was depressed just didn't drag someone into a broom closet the following day!

  "So what do you mean?" he asked. 

  "I was just thinking…" she said coyly, "what would happen if the truth got out…" She raised her arm and showed him the cut; it had now turned into a long bumpy scar, like a river across her wrist.

  "After all the scar is still here, and it might be permanent," Hermione finished.

  In the dim light flashing from Draco's wand Hermione could see the look of worry on his face, he almost looked sad and regretful, but the other half of him looked like he wanted to murder her.

  "So turning to blackmail now?" Draco said boldly, but Hermione could tell his voice was quivering. 

  "Not really blackmail… just a little U O ME," she said smugly.

  "Whatever Granger, I'm not doing it; no matter what it is," Draco said stubbornly.

  With that he turned around and opened the broom closet door a little, and stuck his head out. After making sure no one else was in the corridor that could see them, he opened the door wide. Hermione had to shut her eyes; the light was so bright.

  When she opened her eyes again he was gone.

  "This isn't going to easy," she thought.

 ----------------------------------

  The bustle inside Defense Against the Dark arts classroom was immensely loud, the teacher was late and they had plenty to talk about. Even when Professor McMahn entered they did not stop speaking but just hushed down a little.

  She was out of focus; Placing some books down on the desk, she started scribbling on the board.

  No one seemed to care except Hermione, who had gotten a piece of parchment, a bottle of ink and some quills out and was attempting to write down what was on the board. Obviously doing it to forget about something. Don't look right; don't look right, she thought to herself. Never EVER look at him.

  She felt Harry, who was next to her follow her suit as he started writing off the board. She moved her arm a little to allow him more room. There was this sad look in Harry's eyes that she had rarely seen before; maybe she was too busy with her own life to notice her friend's. She tried to think what might be affecting him but nothing came to mind.

  The conversation with Malfoy she had had earlier still lingered in the back of her mind; she doubted she could forget about it. Yet she was determined, this was the only way! Sure, it might seem childish here and there, but wasn't love such a childish thing?

  Ron gave a loud, fake laugh at the right side of the room. Earlier he had gone up to Harry and her to say that he was going to talk to Lavender for a while and come right back. That was 20 minutes ago.

  Maybe Harry was feeling the same as she did. After all, he was his best friend. Ron was just ditching his friends for some girl; Hermione never thought that he could scoop down that low. But his mistakes made her love him nevertheless, maybe more than ever. No matter where or who he was, she still felt for him, she could still see his face, like it was part of her.

  Who was she kidding? She thought the same thing for so long and nothing every changed, so when she finally decided to take some action, she got rejected? It was all Malfoy's fault! She knew it was not fair to him but she wanted someone to blame, and Malfoy was the one that screwed it all up anyway!

  "Hey Hermione…" said Harry all of a sudden.

  "Uh… yeah?" Hermione said quickly, reminding herself to curse Draco Malfoy later.

  "Never mind," Harry turned his face away from her and continued writing. 

  Hermione looked across at her friend, concerned. He was hiding something, and yet he didn't tell her. Great! First Ron now Harry! But she couldn't blame him; she just had to empathize him.

  "Harry… whatever it is, you can talk to me about it," Hermione said, carefully as not to seem desperate for the truth.

  "I've just… been thinking a lot," Harry said.

  "About…?"

  "It's… nothing," Harry turned his head away.

  "Harry, you don't seem yourself, well you haven't for a long time. Please. You can trust me."

  "It's about Sirius."

-------------------------------------

  The autumn breeze blew in through the half open window, the curtains billowing in motion to the wind. Hermione was supporting her head against her hand and staring out at the school grounds, letting the wind blow her hair around. She closed her eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of dew that was in the air.

  The common room door pushed open and a loud gaggle of people walked in, chatting away about homework. She scanned their heads for a boy with jet-black hair, seeing him she jolted up and ran towards him.

  "Harry! Harry!" she yelled and grabbed him by his arm.

  "What is it Hermione?" he said, his voice lacking volume or strength.

  "Harry please don't do this to yourself, tell me what's wrong, I want to help you." Hermione held onto him, desperately trying to gather up all her courage and wits. They were now alone in the common room.

  "I don't feel like it," Harry struggled away from her and proceeded up the stairs.

  "Harry… you… you! I'm trying to help you and you pushed me away during class today already! Please! Don't turn into Ron!" She yelled, feeling tears trickle down her face, why was she crying? 

  "I'm sorry Hermione if that is how you feel, but I just feel so foolish," Harry slowly stepped down the stairs and walked towards her. 

  "Harry please… what is it? What about Sirius?" Hermione raised her eyes and looked at him, so her surprise it looked like he was crying but trying to restrain it.

  "I lost the only family I ever had and I know everyone would have expected me to get over it, but I can't. I don't understand why it's always me!" Harry said, he walked towards the window and looked out.

  "It was my fault, I blame me. If I haven't been so foolish," Harry said, his voice steadily growing quieter.

  "Oh Harry…" Hermione said, wiping away her tears and walking towards him, she rested a hand on his shoulder.

  "I was so happy when I thought that maybe he could come back as a ghost, but he didn't. Why didn't he?" Harry was now steadily raising his voice, "doesn't he want to see me?"

  "That's not it Harry, he just didn't want to tie you down with the past," Hermione said, her eyes turning watery again. She never knew, all this time, Harry was hurting the same she was. Why didn't she see? The whole time she hated him for not realizing how she felt, but she was just a hypocrite.

  "I just don't know what to do anymore! This affected my whole life, my school grades dropped, I lost my girlfriend and my best friend just ditched me!"

  "Ron didn't ditch you…" Hermione said as hugged Harry from behind, resting her head against his cloak, the smell of Harry filled her nose and she thought back to last year. When everything was good, to her surprise Harry turned around and hugged her back.

  She could feel his tears trickle down her face and she shut her eyes and clung him tight, Harry reached his hand in an attempt to wipe the tears away but Hermione lowered his hand.

  "It's okay… everyone let's down their guard sometimes, it's okay to cry," Hermione whispered, resting her head against his shoulder.

  They didn't know how long they stood there, hugging each other. But it felt like forever. Two souls entwined in one another crying out for love.

------------------------------

 Professor McMahn sat on the soft velvety chair as she fumbled with the lock on her drawer; she cursed herself for putting an anti-magic lock on it. Who would have known she would the one that needed magic to use it?

  Dinner was going to proceed soon she thought as she looked up at the old grandfather clock, and here she was still in her room, fumbling with a stupid lock. She attempted to stick in the key one more time.

  Click.

  She smiled to herself and turned the key in the lock once anti clockwise and another click was sounded. As the drawer burst open she had to shade her eyes to stop it from getting hit by a cloud of dust. Had it really been that long?

  Inside were collections of photoalbulms, covered in red leather and lined with gold. She felt her hand reach forward to them but snapped them back in time. It was better to forget the past.

  She stacked the albums on her desk and kept on looking through the items; there was an old cigarette lighter, some quills, a few old documents and _it_. She smiled as she reached forward for it, finally! She had found it! She reached inside and pulled it out.

  The Pensieve's light was silvery white, dancing off from the stone basin, the carvings on the side had gathered dust but the contents of the basin remained unchanged from the last time she had used them. The bright, substance was moving around ceaselessly, one minute looking like water blown around by the sea breeze; the next it was clouds, drifting around with the southern winds.

  Should she? Should she risk it? She could go in now quickly, oh how she yearned for him! But he was gone… that bastard Malfoy had killed him! He had gone against clear orders and murdered him! He was going to pay… 

  She reached her wand to her temple and pulled out a strand of the same substance present in the Pensive and she dropped it into the basin, she swirled it round and round. She then muttered a curse and all the remains of the drawer returned to its original place and the lock clicked shut. And with that she left the room, never peering back, forgetting the memories.

  Deep inside the drawer, deep inside the stone basin, Voldemort's ghastly face swirled around by itself and then it merged together with another face; A man with long silver blonde hair.

  And hazel eyes.

----------------------------------

**A/N** Quotes: Love was such a childish thing- from English class from when I actually listened. Ah-ha! 

Harry seemed like such a good guy eh? Don't worry DracoxHermione fans. They are only friends! It was a friendly best friend like hug! I need to remind you Harry was still alive! The "entwined" and "crying out for love" meant friendship love and love as in family love. Please don't hate me and flame me!

For some reason I always use rhetorical questions… Oh well.

When Ish (beta reader) read it she didn't get who the "hazel eyes" was. But hopefully you people worked it out! =) 

This chapter's favourite story: Paper Dragons, a really cute story about Sesshoumaru and Rin. Worth a read all of you Inuyasha fans!


	9. Chapter Eight: A Change of Heart

Author's Note: I want to thank you all for having the patience to read up to chapter 8. The story has taken a path of its own and turned out a lot different than I originally planned it. I just read over my "storyline" and I'm like Wow, it's so different now. I hope all of you enjoy my story! Have a great day and don't forget to read, review and recommend!

**++ Chapter Eight: A Change of Heart++**

--------------------------------------------------------------

  It was a moonless night. The stars were shining like diamonds in the sky, more brightly than ever. It might have been because of the absence of the moon that it looked like the whole sky was glittering. 

  Somewhere in his dormitory Draco lay on his bed. He wasn't asleep, nor was he faking sleep. He didn't feel like doing anything and sleep just seemed a waste of time. He closed his eyes and imagined swirls of colours, playing mind games with his own thoughts.

  The cold breeze filled with the dry smell of autumn leaves flew past the open dormitory window; Draco opened his eyes wearily and looked around the room, the clock hanging on the wall said that it was 9:15 already. He wondered where the rest of his company where, they should have been back from dinner by now (even for them that is).

  Actually he quite preferred being secluded in a room, it gave him time to think. Well if that's what you call it. In his mind all he can think about is his pure hatred for his father, how could he not? The more he thought about it the more he wanted to scream. All he wanted was him out of his life! 

  Draco didn't get how his brain worked. Every night he lay half asleep in bed and then suddenly he had this memory, it filled his whole body with this shivering feeling and he felt like he could do it again, like he could take out the knife…

  Maybe he was mentally ill. Draco laughed to himself at that. Were mental people meant to know they're mental? But the more he thought about it the more lonelier he felt, no one probably ever experienced things the way he did. If only…

  An owl flew through the window swiftly, its coat as dark as the night itself, like a figment of the sky fallen into his room. The owl dropped the piece of parchment in its claw and started its journey off again.

  Draco knew very well who the owl was from, who else was scared of people uncovering their letters? He was actually quite sick of his father's foolish ideas Draco didn't bother getting up or looking at the letter.

  But he was restless, the more he tried not to think about the letter the more he wanted to read it. It was like his whole life was a trap. He swore and got up and grabbed the envelope. He pulled the letter out and read:

Draco. I have been hearing things from Professor Snape that you are not doing well in school. Go to the Slytherin common room at midnight and we will discuss your future. Don't let anyone see you.

  It was an unsigned note. Draco tossed the letter out of the window, then regretted it as he thought about someone picking it up. It was a while since midnight and he wasn't so sure if he even wanted to go to the "meeting". He knew what Lucius was going to say and he certainly did not want to go through that again. Wouldn't he love to hear what Draco had been up to in the last few days?

  Draco laughed at his own personal joke. Then when he realized what he was doing stopped. It was embarrassing to laugh at oneself.

  He felt his stomach rumble and he knew he shouldn't have skipped dinner, no matter how much he wanted to avoid seeing the mudblood he needed glucose. And fast. Dinner would have been over already, he calculated, so that only leaves the option of sneaking down to the kitchens.

  Yes the awesome threesome. You weren't the only ones who knew how to steal food.

-----------------------------------------

  Draco's feet took him corridor down corridor down corridor. He was particularly lucky that night as it seemed that Filch and his deadly feline were nowhere to be seen. The paintings on the walls waved at him and some girls even winked. Draco smiled smugly until a middle aged man in a painting winked at him too.

  Shuffling quickly down the corridor he thought back to when he first came down to the kitchens to steal some food. He actually had to thank the Weasleys for introducing him to the secret of getting in. For as anyone knows getting in was the hard part because as soon as you're in you have no problems whatsoever. The twins had been closely followed that day by him, in hopes of getting them in trouble. He had this pure loathe for the Weasleys which he couldn't explain. He hid behind a corner while he watched them go into the kitchen, unaware of what was happening he was taken by surprise when the twins came out with a bundle of food in their arms eating some puff pastries. 

  Draco stood in front of the ever so famous painting of the fruit bowl. He tickled the pear in just the right place. The pear giggled and turned into a handle. Draco grabbed the handle and walked in.

  As soon as he walked in he could feel all eyes on him, it wasn't long before tens upon tens of house elves were rushing up to him offering him savories, sweets and beverages. Draco grabbed as many chicken legs as he could in one hand and some bread and turned to depart.

  He was quite astonished when he saw a familiar figure standing there.

  "Master…" Dobby's voice was as squeaky as ever, and upon realizing what he said he quickly covered his mouth and banged his head on a plate, indenting his face print on the base.

  Draco was quite sick with Dobby's self-inflicting pain procedure. He wondered if all house elves were like that. Thinking about house elves reminded him of S.P.E.W, which then reminded him of Hermione, which then reminded him of…

  Draco quickly shook the image out of his head and was preparing to leave when he noticed Dobby still standing there, his big blue eyes looking up at him like those of a puppy's. Of course the rest of the body… well… didn't look anything like a cute puppy's.

  "Yeah okay," Draco quickly brushed past him and exited the busy kitchens. He felt a little bit sorry for Dobby but did nothing about his feelings; he quickly climbed the stairs up to his dormitory.

  Suddenly he heard a meow from behind him, he turned around hoping it wasn't Mrs. Filch but little did he realize he was walking straight at someone. 

  "Hey watch it derbrain," Draco rubbed his head where he had collided with the stranger, he looked up at the person and surprise surprise he found Harry standing there.

  "What the hell are you doing Malfoy?" Harry asked, fully aware of the situation judging by the amount of food in Draco's arms. 

  "It's none of your beeswax," Draco pushed past him and proceeded to his dorm, breathing a sigh of relief that it wasn't Filch.

--------------------

  Midnight came all too soon, Draco tumbled around in his bed but he couldn't manage sleep. He sat up sharply. If he didn't go now his father was going to keep on pestering him, he better just go quickly now and get it over and done with. He hated having to always obey his father but there was nothing else to it.

  The fireplace had been rekindled earlier that night by the prefects and Draco hurried down from his room and sat in front of the fire, staring into the deep colours of red, yellow and orange.

  Suddenly the fireplace turned green and the all too familiar face of Lucius appeared. 

  "Ahh… Draco, you are on time," Lucius said, "for once."

  "What do you want father, hurry it up," Draco tried to sound as respectful as possible.

  "Watch with the attitude boy, that is the attitude that could destroy the Malfoy empire," Lucius snapped back at him.

  Draco constrained a laugh. Malfoy "empire". He made it sound like the Malfoys were some international drug dealers or something.

  "Well… SORRY father."

  "Don't you use sarcasm with me!" Lucius was now fuming.

  Draco said nothing and looked straight at Lucius' eyes. 

  "I heard that your grades have dropped, is that right?" Lucius continued.

  "Yes father, but this years course-"

  "NO EXCUSES!" Lucius yelled, "you are now in your senior years, all your school marks now account for your future, no more fooling around!"

  Draco mumbled. What career choices? Lucius was the one who made all the decisions. Like the decision that he was going to be a Deatheater.

  "But father, I told you. This year's courses are a lot harder."

  "Really now? I am sure that Granger girl is coping well…" Lucius said, "despite the fact that she should not even be in Hogwarts."

  "Don't compare me to that Mudblood!" if Lucius wasn't engulfed in flames, Draco would have punched him.

  "Draco I am helping you! You wouldn't get anywhere in life without me!" 

  "I'm so sick of you controlling my life, let me make my own decisions!" Draco stood up, ready to go.

  "Let me assure you, if you chose to make your own decisions, I have no reason to keep you." Lucius said.

  Keep me? Draco thought, he means he's going to kick me out and disclaim me? Is that possible?

  "Just leave me alone," Draco said.

  And with that Draco left the room, the rage rising inside him.

----------------------

 Draco hurried around the school. His mind still on the previous night's conversation. He was so mad he could just yell! How dare Lucius threaten him, as if he cares! He just made him so mad! Draco wanted to punch him so bad…

  There must be something he could do! He was so sick of being pushed around. Any normal father would have realized the pain inside him and even cared. For once in his life he blamed his mother. Why did she marry such a arse?!

  That's it. Draco thought. No more Mr. Nice Guy, no more perfect son. He was going to break the rules… but how??

---------------------

  "Where's Ron?" Harry asked Hermione as they walked out onto the grass towards Hagrid's hut.

  "3 points for whoever guesses first," Hermione muttered.

  "Man he is so…" Harry said.

  "Useless? Stupid? Shallow? You choose," Hermione didn't care what she was saying, she just felt like she could explode.

  Suddenly she felt a hand grab her arm and she turned around, "Oi what's your problem.." She stopped when she saw who it was.

  "Hey Malfoy, get your filthy hands off her!" Harry stepped forward.

  "Oh for heaven's sake! I don't have germs," Draco said, he then turned to Hermione, "come with me if you still want to do it."

  "WHAT THE HELL?" Harry yelled.

  "Huh… do it with you? You sick perverted loser!" Hermione shook her hands off him and walked off.

  Draco chased after her, "No! I would never give you the time of the day. I mean the whole… thing that we discussed the other day in the broom closet."

  Harry's face had now turned a beetroot red, "Stop lying! You and Hermione. WHAT?"

  Hermione turned back to Harry, "Umm… Harry… could you leave for a sec?"

  "WHAT SO IT'S ACTUALLY TRUE?"

  "NO! Just… I'll explain later okay?"

  Harry walked off, uncertainly looking back. Shaking his head in confusion.

  "What do you want, forget about what I said the other day," Hermione said sternly, "don't come back to laugh in my face."

  "No…"

  "Then what? If you don't want to go along with it just go and annoy someone else!" Hermione turned her back to him and walked towards where Harry was standing.

  "Granger WAIT!"

  Hermione stopped in her tracks. 

  "About that proposal, Draco continued, "I'll go along with it."

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**A/N** I didn't get this chapter beta read coz I am going to leave to go to China in one day and since I finished this chapter today I had to quickly post it. Sorry this took so long to upload. Oh and sorry it's so short too…

So after this chapter once again no chapter in a long time (due to holidays)

Anyways merry Christmas everyone!!!


	10. Chapter Nine: Slowly Slipping Away

Author's Note: I am going to apologize. For not updating this fanfic in at least four months. I am really really sorry. Sometimes you lose inspiration and other things come up (e.g. violin, exams, anime). I am still writing this fanfic 100% though because I have never actually written a story and continued it after a three months (i.e. check my other two stories).  Thanks to all of you for your patience and thanks for your constant reviews, comments and motivation!

New Story: Another delay is also that I am starting another fanfiction at the moment. No details will be revealed here except that it is going to be called "Mosaic". Look out for it coming mid 2004! (If all goes according to plan)

**++ Chapter Nine: Slowly Slipping Away++**

  Hermione looked at Draco aghast. Thoughts ran wildly through her head as she juggled the possibilities of her plan. She was lying if she said that she never thought about it because she did; at those times her embarrassment and sheer stupidity always floated back to her mind. But now, he was offering… acceptance? She didn't know what to say.

  It seems like such a foolish thing to do, but it's not going to hurt anyone. Desperate times called for desperate measures. It's not like she is going to do anything with him right? As long as she and Draco both lied. It had a chance. 

  You have nothing else to do, one half told her.

  Is this how low you'll sink for love, her other half scowled.

  "What's in it for you?" Hermione eyed Draco, inspecting his face thoroughly, "don't you have enough girlfriends as it is?"

  "True… but I have a reputation to uphold."

  Yeah… Hermione thought, shagging every girl under the school roof. 

  "All I have to do is like pretend to go out with you… a little intimacy every now and then right?" Draco asked.

  Hermione blushed a crimson red. "No that's not what I mean!"

  "Oohh.. well you see when most girls say they need me… it is usually _that_," Draco smirked.

  "I'm not 'most girls' and I just want you to pretend that we're closer than we actually are, not actually do anything," Hermione half-shouted, half-spat out at him. Malfoy was dumb, she knew that. But dumb and arrogant, she really hated guys like that.

  "Well…"

  "Just… don't say anything to Ron for now okay?" Hermione smiled. Yes! It was all coming together! Working with the enemy had allowed her a new chance!

  "Let me get this straight… you like… that Weasley?" Draco stifled his laughter.

  "Just shut up! Not so loud! So you going to do it?" Hermione hurriedly said, avoiding glances from passer-bys.

  "Why do you want to anyway? Can't you just lie to him alone without dragging me in?" Draco asked.

  "But you see…" 

  "OHH! I get it. Even mudblood gets desperate, I mean it's not like you've ever done it before let alone even made body contact with a guy right? I mean with your looks."

  "You're so clueless. But this—"

  "Okay okay mudblood. But nothing's going to change between us, alright? I'm not going to be nice to you or anything," Draco turned around and walked towards the Great Hall.

  "Wait! Where are you going?" Hermione shouted.

  "To class dumbass!" Draco said and kept on walking, when he reached the stairs he turned around and faced her again. "But… Granger. Seriously give up, you're looking at a guy that can hardly support himself let alone someone else."

  "That's none of your business!" Hermione controlled her rage, she didn't want to cause a scene. She stormed off the other way to find Harry, her fists clenched in anger. Damn that Malfoy! She's now regretting her decision more and more by the minute. But then she thought back to that day, by the lake and the look on his face. She hated to admit it, but there was something about Draco… that was drawing her in.

-----------------------------------  

  "Harry!" Hermione shouted towards a figure now walking towards Hagrid's hut.

  "Hey. _Now _do I get an explanation?" Harry raised his eyebrows and looked around for Draco.

  "He's gone," Hermione said, following his gaze.

  "Now I want to know why 1. you talked to Draco at all and 2. why the hell was he talking about the things which he was talking about?" Harry asked.

  "Well…" Hermione said. It's best not to tell him, he'll probably throw a fit and never talk to you, and she already had enough of the silent treatment, she thought. 

  "Well…?" Harry slurred.

  "I have no idea what he was talking about, I just told him to go stuff his face with toad legs," Hermione smiled weakly, she had always been bad at lying.

  "But what about-" Harry wasn't satisfied.

  "Hey let's go see Hagrid. We haven't seen him in like forever!" Hermione ran towards his hut.

  "Hermio-" Harry started. He then laughed and ran after her. 

  "You owe me!" he yelled.

---------------------------------

  Draco looked out of the window in the corridor at her. Well, he's done it. He's said yes. Strangely he didn't feel anything. No feeling of regret, stupidity or anger. And he thought that was what he was going to feel. Going out with a mudblood? Not just any. But _that _ one?

  It was perfect. Draco smiled at the thought of that. This was exactly what he needed to break the rules. He could just imagine Lucius' face as news traveled back to him. He's finally done it! He's achieved it!

  But happiness didn't fill Draco like he expected it to, there was this empty gut feeling, telling him that this was never going to work. But he didn't let that get to him… he was slowly breaking away from the cage, first by the cutting, and now by… this! His puzzle was slowly piecing together.

  And he owed it all to her… he hated to admit it, but he did owe it all to her. First she saved his life, and now she's fixing it. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be nice to her, Draco thought. This does not change the relationship between us two AT ALL. They are still sworn enemies. Sometimes enemies have to work together… right? Draco tried to reassure himself.

  As long as no one else found out. 

  Draco half smiled. The deep feelings of depression he had felt days before had slowly slipped away, just like that. As long as he didn't think about everything, he was going to be okay. It was all going to be alright…

-----------------------------------

  The sinister cloaked figure slipped through the silver grass under the crescent moon, muttering to itself the whole way of the journey. It reached the door, if that is what you call it, its hinges were rusting and the white paint of the door was peeling all over the place. The fly screen had massive holes in it, totally contradicting the point of a fly screen in the beginning. It knocked heavily on the mahogany door and waited, distracting itself by staring at the untamed shrubs which had engrossed the walls.

  The door was opened by a surprised looking tallish figure, who quickly motioned the cloaked personal in. The hall was littered with a musty sea smell that lingered in all the corners. The door to a drawing-room was opened and the cloaked figure entered.

  Lucius was standing next to the fireplace, speaking to some figure in it. He turned around when he heard a sound and then breathed, almost like a sigh of relief.

  "Oh it's only you…" Lucius chuckled.

  "What do you mean… ONLY me?" Tamarah threw off her cloak angrily and stormed towards him, she was now in clear view of the fireplace and as she looked upon it she gave a stifled cry.

  "Why yes.. Tamarah, how pleasant it is."

  The face in the fireplace spoke to her, if it was what you could call a face. The skin was draped over the face so tightly that it looked more like a skull than a head. The colour of it was a deep yellowish-brown and the eyes were barely slits.

  "Master…" Tamarah stammered.

  "Yes. It is me, but strangely you don't sound pleased to see me," Voldemort laughed, "how have you been these days?"

  "Yes… do tell us all about how your assignment is getting along," Lucius said.

  Tamarah clenched her fists, Lucius was always rubbing off Voldemort, that coward. "It's going fine."

  "So you got more information about that boy yet?" Lucius sniggered.

  "Which one are you talking about?" Tamarah sneered.

  "I wasn't aware there was more than one," Voldemort rasped, "I assigned you to exterminate that Potter."

  "Yes of course master," Tamarah was now regaining her confidence, "but Lucius here has been telling me to look out for his boy too."

  "Ah yes… so that was who he was talking about," Voldemort said, "what did you want to say about that?"

  Tamarah stared blankly at him, "But I thought that you didn't-"

  Lucius grabbed her arm tightly, "Don't underestimate him. There are a lot of things you don't know about."

  "Of course…" She pulled her arm from his wrench and gave him a dirty look.

  "You have been assigned your mission and so has Lucius, however Lucius has already accomplished his and you haven't. I expect you to complete them within a month, if not, I am sure we can come to an agreement about your family." Voldemort said.

  Tamarah nodded and didn't utter another word, she knew the meeting was over.

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**A/N: **I'm going to apologize ONE MORE TIME, because this was a pretty short chapter. But I promise I will TRY MY BEST to keep this story up and finish it soon. Thank you all for your patience. =D

I just realized how cliché this story is, so I'm going to try my best to add some twists and turns into it. But I think people can still work out who's going to end up with who. Haha.

Until next time,

The VERY APOLOGETIC kandiikane.


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